Day By Day© by Chris Muir.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Giuseppe Cannella has finally fulfilled the fantasy of a lot of men worldwide. Mr. Cannella installed a jet engine on the back of his mother-in-law's wheelchair. I'm sure you can all come up with jokes for this topic. Surprisingly, his mother-in-law was happy about it. Go figure.

How about those election reports, huh? Reuters was reporting a 72 percent turnout! Now that's an expression of freedom. It's too bad the citizens of this nation don't have that kind of zeal and commitment to their nation as do the Iraqis. Of course, some people aren't impressed at all. Peter Jennings said the turnout was depressed because the Iraqis considered the elections illegitimate due to U.S. involvement, especially for the Sunnis. And John Kerry, that lovable scamp, said the Iraqi elections were "no big deal". Imagine that. No big deal. These elections are a huge deal. Just ask anyone who voted. He's just mad because it didn't happen while he was in charge.

Lance Corporal Tony Stevens, USMC, is probably the luckiest Marine in the Corps. Or the unluckiest. Lance Corporal Stevens has survived nine bombs, currently holding the record in Iraq. Lucky, yeah, he survived. But I vote unlucky, because he had to be there when the bomb went off in the first place. I salute you, sir, and pray you don't find number ten. Come home in one piece.

Remember Jeff Tweiten? He's the guy who wanted desperately to be first in line to see the last "Star Wars" episode in Seattle, he set up camp outside his local theater. Alas, Jeff had to move on. A single complaint from an anonymous source, and the police had to make Jeff break camp or get a ticket. They have what's called a "no sit/no lay" ordinance in Seattle, and one person decided to make a stink about it, so the police were forced to make Jeff break camp. But don't worry; Jeff isn't defeated yet. He's gonna take a little break, then he will be back at the theater, only this time he's going to wait standing up. There's no law against that.

My oh My! Allan over at BMEWS has obtained an advance copy of the very first Playboy magazine to be issued to the Middle East. Wait until you get a glance at the Playmate of the Month.

Acidman has posted a five-question quiz that is a lot of fun and challenging. I got all of them right except for number three. They're tricky, so good luck. Let me know how you did.

This is great. A town in Ghana is well known for their creative coffins. According to the BBC story, the artisans in Teshi can make a coffin look like anything you want, from animals to cars, to other sentimental objects. Check out the pictures of the coffins. And they're a lot cheaper than the coffins we get here. I wonder how much to ship one over? Just out of curiosity, if you had a choice, what would you want your coffin to look like?

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Here is another example of why the mainstream media doesn't take bloggers seriously. A person offering to sell himself or herself to comment on other blogs for you. I've posted the entire description of the "sale item" here for you to see. All bolding is mine.
Because pundits and journalists have been raking in the dough recently by simply taking tax-payer money to endorse certain political agendas, I, a private citizen, am now offering my services for a fee to write and post comments on political blogs. I will write clear, on point comments no matter the agenda, no matter the Blog. Conservative, Liberal, Moderate, Commie-Pinko or Raging Right Wingnut. My ethics and words are completely for sale. AND, I will not disclose that I'm accepting money from you to support your point of view. I am also offering this service to any department of the government. HHS, SOS, DOD or even the EPA. If you have extra money to spend to further the administration's agenda, what better way than to hire a private citizen to be your voice in the blogosphere. For $10 a post ($40 for 5 posts) I will sign on to any blog and post your message, no matter how unpopular, inane or controversial. I will, however, never use profanity or personally attack any other blogger (except for and extra $50). So, if you're ethically challenged and have no problem paying to have your outlandish ideas endorsed on the web and not disclose who you are, I'm your hire.
Thank God only one person has deigned to bid on this idiocy. The seller should be banned from blogging or commenting at all. But we won't do that, because we have freedom of speech in this country. Except when you pay for it.

The NCAA is having a problem with the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. They want the school to change their Indian logo and mascot. The school is balking at this, as the UNCP was founded in 1887 to educate American Indians. They like being called the Braves. I say if they like it, more power to them. If they're not offended, the NCAA should leave them alone.

As you read this, please take a few moments and pray for the people in Iraq, as they begin their first step toward complete democracy. May their elections be trouble-free, and may the losers abide by the decisions of the people. As always, may the Lord grant safe passage for our brave soldiers.

Thanks to Wizbang, we can click on Tony Demark's stunning photos of the areas hit by the tsunami. These are a set of 20 before and after pictures, which really drive home the point of how much damage those people have to deal with. Just click on the button and the picture you are looking at changes before your eyes, and the effects are truly awesome.

Elliot Nightingale of London was fined fifty pounds for littering. He threw an empty Pepsi can into a thorny bush. This has caused an uproar in the area, however, because Elliot is 16 months old. His father Lee had put the empty can in the stroller, and the baby threw it out. Lee tried to get the can out of the bushes, but was thwarted by the thorns. When the officer started writing the ticket, he offered to try again to retrieve the can, but it was too late.

Could someone please explain to me why fashion reporters were covering the ceremony on the anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz? Who cares what Dick Cheney was wearing at the wintry, outdoor ceremony? Heaven forbid they write about the ceremony itself. But then someone would probably have had to explain it to them.

Some guys just can't catch a break. Sergio Ruiz, 60, was hit by a car while trying to cross the street. He has a skull fracture and other injuries. But that's just the beginning of his problems. Now the car owner is suing him for damage to his Taurus. The owner of the car claims Mr. Ruiz didn't look both ways before crossing the street. I've got a real problem with this. If the driver saw Mr. Ruiz not look both ways, why did he still hit him?

The people of Omaha, Nebraska got a real treat the other day. The local Shell station, which is not manned by an attendant, was flooded with customers after the owner's daughter misprogrammed the pumps. For a few hours they sold gasoline for 18 cents a gallon, instead of $1.89. They suffered a loss of about $1,000.

85 year old Nellie Tambascia is a real treasure in Boston. This great woman gets up at 4 am and shovels her neighborhood. 85 years old and working like a dog to make life better for her neighbors. I'm telling you, every single male over the age of 10 in that neighborhood should be ashamed of themselves. They should be doing for her, not the other way around. I understand she wants to stay busy, but there are other things she could be doing that won't kill her.

Sometimes the names of bills submitted to Congress can be quite amusing. New Mexico state Senator Steve Komadina has authored a bill entitled Right To Eat Enchiladas bill. It's a silly name, but the thought behind it is sound. The bill is meant to protect restaurants from frivolous lawsuits by people claiming they didn't know the nutritional content of the food they were eating. I only wish this was a national bill. If people don't want to gain weight, if they truly want to watch their nutritional intake, then they should prepare their own food at home.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Richard Kral in Slovenia is a very creative and innovative man.
A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.
This was one determined man. I can't imagine going through that ordeal.
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
I tip my hat to you, sir. Urine a league all your own.

The school district in Lincoln, Rhode Island has discontinued all spelling bees because they violate the No Child Left Behind Act.
"It's about one kid winning, several making it to the top and leaving all others behind," Newman said of the competition, which culminates with the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. "That's contrary to No Child Left Behind."

A spelling bee, she continued, is about "some kids being winners, some kids being losers," which "sends a message that this isn't an all-kids movement."
Boloney! Spelling bees are open to all children, no matter how poorly they spell. Naturally the better spellers will advance and the less accomplished will not.
She argues that professional organizations now encourage elementary school children to participate in activities that avoid winners and losers, which is why sports teams have been eliminated for that age group.

Building self-esteem is the emphasis.

"You have to build positive self-esteem for all kids, so they believe they're all winners," Newman told the Call. "You want to build positive self-esteem so that all kids can get to where they want to go."
Someone needs to drag her out back and beat some sense into her. Kids need to believe they can win, of course, but they also need to know how to lose graciously. If they never lose, they never grow. It's that simple. Kids who never experience loss think things will always go their way and develop no sense of reality. Why can't so-called educators understand that concept? It's not that difficult.

Today was a better day than yesterday for sure. My daughter picked me up at 8:30 am (!) and we went to town, where I arranged to get a replacement washing machine. The man who runs the store goes to our church, so he let me buy it on a 90 day same as cash deal. At least I can get some laundry done. They're gonna deliver it on Monday.

I got a call from a lady at the TSA today. She asked about the problems I was having making travel arrangements, and I explained that it was wrong to charge more for the oxygen than for the ticket. Unfortunately I didn't put it quite that nicely. I didn't yell or anything, but I was still upset and made it perfectly clear to her. She said she'd look into it and call me back. We had considered going by train, or driving, but both take too long and we want to spend as much time with the kids as possible.

We got some snow here this evening. About one inch. So I won't have to go out tomorrow (yay!) and I don't have to get up early for anything. I'm sleeping in!

After going back and reading the post below about the airline nightmare, I realize I left a few things out. In normal times, the adversity I went through to get that information wouldn't have gotten to me; I worked for the federal government for six years, and I'm used to red tape. But it just hit me at a really bad time.

I had my appointment with my therapist on Tuesday, and I was feeling really good about things. All the good luck we've had since the first of the year, and I was starting to see the light at the end of a 28 year long tunnel. I should have realized that light was the train coming. On Wednesday morning, I was hit with a quadruple header: our bank had cashed a check for us, after looking at the account, that had to be overdrafted, One of our circuit breakers went out, causing some of our outlets to cease working, the seal around the base of the toilet is leaking, causing a flooded carpet in the bathroom, and the gasket on the bottom of my washing machine crapped out, flooding the floor in the laundry room.

So you see, I'm not having a great week. The optimist inside me says it's gonna get better, but I've been hearing that crap for a long, long time. It's a good thing I have a high threshhold for pain. Otherwise, I'd probably just give up.

This is the most pathetic thing I've seen in a while. Larry Holmes wants to fight George Foreman. Why? Who would want to see two old men knock each other's dentures out? I've seen old men in shorts with no shirt on. It's not a pretty sight.

i'm the kind of person who doesn't get really angry easily. But when I do, if I start to cry, I've gone way over the angry limit. I've been known to bury pencils in walls. I actually left one in the wall for weeks, to remind me not to do that. Today I cried.

Our son in Oregon has graciously offered to buy us airline tickets so we can see our three grandsons, two of whom we have yet to meet. He IM'd me last night and said the tickets would be over 1500 dollars. I told him I'd check on this end and see what I could come up with.

I spent more than four hours on the telephone today, just trying to get some information. When I got it, I wanted to kill something. Minor background information, for those new readers who don't know, I'm an oxygen patient. I'm supposed to be on oxygen 24/7. Now, I know you're not allowed to take oxygen tanks on the airplanes. So I'm trying to find out the procedure for traveling.

I found out the tickets, round trip from here to the town he lives in, are 380 dollars each. Much better than the 1500 he was quoted. However, the oxygen complicates things. Since you can't take oxygen on the plane with you, you have to arrange for the airline to provide it. And they will, on the plane only, for a minimum of one hundred dollars... for each leg of the trip. This is not a joke. The flight from Springfield MO to Minneapolis MN (!) to Portland OR to Redmond OR would cost 380 for my ticket, 380 for Sir Mugley's ticket, and 400 for oxygen while I'm sitting in the plane seat. And the kicker: the plane from Portland to Redmond does not have oxygen provisions. So it's either fly without the oxygen for about an hour (providing there are no delays), or have someone pick us up in Portland and drive across the state to Redmond.

At this point I'm on the verge of tears, I'm so ticked off. Then comes the conversations, after long stretches on the phone listening to my "choices", with Medicare and Medicaid, to find out how much help I could expect from them on the oxygen charges. After about an hour and a half, I discover Medicare covers equipment only, on the ground only. So I try Medicaid, because we're low enough on the poverty scale that Medicaid pays what Medicare won't. Well, they won't cover it either, because the airlines provide their own oxygen, instead of going through an oxygen provider who might be contracted with Medicaid.

So what it boils down to is this: I can stick my son with almost 1300 dollars just in travel expenses, or try to find another way to get there that would be cheaper. I did call Amtrak, but they are more expensive, and it would have taken three days to get there and three days back. This would leave about 12 hours to visit with the kids. No good.

As Howard Dean would say, "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!"

I'd like to wish a belated Happy Birthday to Robbo over at Llama Butchers. Here's a photo from his extravagant birthday party. Many more to you, Robbo!

A hearty goodbye to Gloria Feldt, the President Planned Parenthood who resigned today. She had been with the organization for 30 years. The story does not give any reason for her sudden resignation. I can only hope it was because her job of supporting abortions became either too repugnant to her, or too difficult to continue. Let's hope the next president, who hasn't been chosen yet, will not be as liberal on the subject, and steer Planned Parenthood away from abortions and toward other effective methods of birth control, ones which do not destroy living beings.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Get a load of this. Wolf over at Pack News brings us the story of Oklahoma State Senator Frank Shurden (D-Henryetta) wants to end the ban on cockfighting in the state by putting boxing gloves on the roosters! I wonder what color the sky is in his world?

A man named Bill Haas is running for mayor of St. Louis, Missouri. Bill Haas really wants this job. And Bill Haas has pretty much said that if he doesn't get the job, he's gonna kill himself. Oh Boy, that'll show 'em. Unfortunately, this fool writes a blog, so that was a featured part of the story. I won't link to his site, but if you want to read it, it's in the article.

Some lunatic dressed in a monkey costume tried to rob a convenience store in Yokkaichi, Japan. I know this sounds like the opening line to a joke, but it's real. But the best line in the entire article is this:
Judging from the way he talked, the robber appeared to be a man in his 30s or 40s and was about 175 centimeters tall and of medium build.
Just how could they tell all that by the way he talked?

Our brand-new Governor, Matt Blunt, gave his State of the State address tonight, and he showed once again that he means to streamline the bureaucracy that has plagued our state. If you'd like to see what I mean, you can read the highlights of his proposals, one of which was to cut state employees by at least 1,000 people. The ones who remain, except for elected officials, would get a one percent pay increase. Governor Blunt has done more since he took office than Bob Holden did the entire time he was there. He's as good a man as his father, Rep. Roy Blunt. I got to meet them all several years ago, when Sir Mugley ran for state office. They are genuine, and determined to make life better for everyone they can. Let's see if the state legislature will work with him.

If you're at a loss for a Valentine gift for a loved one, here's an idea: A magical bean that, when planted, will grow and a message can be read on the bean. You heard me. The Japanese company uses a laser to write a message on the bean, which clings to the sprouted plant for about a month. It takes about five days for the planted bean to sprout. Just the thing for that hard to please person on your shopping list.

Dick Clark was released from the hospital, seven weeks after suffering a "minor stroke". It is unclear what effect the stroke has had on him. I'm no doctor, but seven weeks seems like a long time to be in the hospital if the stroke was minor. I hope there is no lasting damage, but strokes can be very nasty creatures. Here's to a quick recovery.

I guess by now you've all heard about Juan Manual Alvarez of Compton, California. This man tried three times to kill himself unsuccessfully; however, he did manage to kill 11 people and seriously injure nearly 200 others. This idiot parked his SUV on some railroad tracks, waiting for a train to hit him. And this was after he had slit his wrists, then stabbed himself several times. Then at the last minute, instead of moving the SUV, he jumped out and left it on the tracks. When the passenger train hit the SUV, the train jumped the tracks, and collided with another train, causing it to derail as well. Listen, if this moron wanted to kill himself, he should have just driven off a cliff. I know they have some really good ones out there. Or slammed into a tree. He has been arrested, and I hope they throw the book at him. He should never be allowed out of jail.

Well, the Democrats finished with their temper tantrum and confirmed Condoleezza Rice as the first black female Secretary of State. Congrats to Dr. Rice. I'm sure she'll be a darn site better at the job than her predecessor.

Never Forget:

The Holocaust, symbolized by Auschwitz, the worst of the death camps, occurred in the wake of consistent, systematic, unrelenting anti-Jewish propaganda campaign. As a result, the elimination of the Jews from German society was accepted as axiomatic, leaving open only two questions: when and how.

As Germany expanded its domination and occupation of Austria, Czechoslovakia, France, the Low Countries, Yugoslavia, Poland, parts of the USSR, Greece, Romania, Hungary, Italy and others countries, the way was open for Hitler to realize his well-publicized plan of destroying the Jewish people.

After experimentation, the use of Zyklon B on unsuspecting victim was adopted by the Nazis as the means of choice, and Auschwitz was selected as the main factory of death (more accurately, one should refer to the “Auschwitz-Birkenau complex”). The green light for mass annihilation was given at the Wannsee Conference, January 20, 1942, and the mass gassings took place in Auschwitz between 1942 and the end of 1944, when the Nazis retreated before the advancing Red Army. Jews were transported to Auschwitz from all over Nazi-occupied or Nazi-dominated Europe and most were slaughtered in Auschwitz upon arrival, sometimes as many as 12,000 in one day. Some victims were selected for slave labour or “medical” experimentation. All were subject to brutal treatment.

In all, between three and four million people, mostly Jews, but also Poles and Red Army POWs, were slaughtered in Auschwitz alone (though some authors put the number at 1.3 million). Other death camps were located at Sobibor, Chelmno, Belzec (Belzek), Majdanek and Treblinka.

Auschwitz was liberated by the Red Army on 27 January 1945, sixty years ago, after most of the prisoners were forced into a Death March westwards. The Red Army found in Auschwitz about 7,600 survivors, but not all could be saved.

For a long time, the Allies were well aware of the mass murder, but deliberately refused to bomb the camp or the railways leading to it. Ironically, during the Polish uprising, the Allies had no hesitation in flying aid to Warsaw, sometimes flying right over Auschwitz.

There are troubling parallels between the systematic vilification of Jews before the Holocaust and the current vilification of the Jewish people and Israel. Suffice it to note the annual flood of anti-Israel resolutions at the UN; or the public opinion polls taken in Europe, which single out Israel as a danger to world peace; or the divestment campaigns being waged in the US against Israel; or the attempts to delegitimize Israel’s very existence. The complicity of the Allies in WW II is mirrored by the support the PLO has been receiving from Europe, China and Russia to this very day.

If remembering Auschwitz should teach us anything, it is that we must all support Israel and the Jewish people against the vilification and the complicity we are witnessing, knowing where it inevitably leads.
My father was a tank commander during World War II. He served in Europe and participated in the Battle of the Bulge. I have no doubt he saw a great deal of the horror that was in the camps, judging from the look on his face when he talked about the war. We must be sure nothing like this ever happens again. It's been 60 years, but the roots of Jewish hatred still haven't completely died. This joint-blog on this horrible topic is to let the world know that what happened then will never be forgotten. To see the list of bloggers who have decided to participate in this endeavor, click here. And pray every day that hearts and minds will be changed, and people will learn that the Jewish people are not responsible for every single thing that goes on in this world. It's just too easy to use them as a scapegoat; it's time to stop.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Just for kicks, what do you suppose would happen if we all got together and refused to watch the spectacle they call the Academy Awards? Do you think they'd notice, and start nominating movies that people actually like instead of movies they think we should like?

Here you are. Since you've been waiting so long with baited breath (go gargle, for cryin' out loud!), here are this year's nominees for the coveted Razzies, the spoof awards which are handed out the day before the Oscars:

Worst Picture:

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Surviving Christmas
White Chicks

Worst Actor:

George W. Bush - Fahrenheit 9/11
Ben Affleck - Surviving Christmas and Jersey Girl
Vin Diesel - Chronicles of Riddick
Colin Farrell - Alexander
Ben Stiller - Along Came Polly, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Envy, and Starsky & Hutch

Worst Actress:

Halle Berry - Catwoman
Hilary Duff - Cinderella Story and Raise Your Voice
Angelina Jolie - Alexander and Taking Lives
Olsen Twins - New York Minute
Shawn and Marlon Wayans - White Chicks

Worst Screen Couple:

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez/Liv Tyler - Jersey Girl
Halle Berry and Benjamin Bratt/Sharon Stone - Catwoman
George W. Bush and Condi Rice/pet goat - Fahrenheit 9/11
Olsen Twins - New York Minute
Wayans Brothers - White Chicks

Worst Supporting Actress:

Carmen Electra - Starsky & Hutch
Jennifer Lopez - Jersey Girl
Condoleezza Rice - Fahrenheit 9/11
Britney Spears - Fahrenheit 9/11
Sharon Stone - Catwoman

Worst Supporting Actor:

Val Kilmer - Alexander
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Around the World in 80 Days
Donald Rumsfeld - Fahrenheit 9/11
Jon Voight - Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Lambert Wilson - Catwoman

Frankly I think these awards would be a lot more fun to watch. The only reason left to watch the Oscars is to see who is going to wear something totally stupid.

If my daughter had wanted to wear something like this to her prom, I would have locked her in her room until she was 30. This isn't a dress. It's an apron with nothing under it. Give me a break. This dress just screams, "Don't worry, date. You're gonna get some tonight." Whatever happened to taffeta? Man, I feel old.
UPDATE: Link is now fixed. Remember, pick your jaw up off the floor after you've seen the picture. You may need it later.

Thanks to Michele at A Small Victory, we have this link to a beautiful homage to Calvin and Hobbes, one of the greatest comic strips ever written. Right up there with the Far Side. I miss those guys. Anyway, my favorite has got to be the sharks.

This is called an "Angel Decoy". I thought you'd like to see it as it's being made. The military uses it to protect their planes from incoming missiles.

This article is for all the "End-Times" students among my readers: US Politician Hopes to Speed Building of Third Temple. According to the article, all of the temple artifacts and instruments are ready to go, except for the altar, of course, which must be build inside the temple so as not to desecrate it.

You’ll like Right Wing Duck’s Adopting a Liberal Dog. According to Duck, I’m gonna have to give up on dogs and get a cat. None of those breeds are right for me.

Isn't this beautiful? This is a solar flare, one of the largest documented in fifteen years. Nature is beautiful.

I would like to take a moment to wish my beloved brother Jerry a very happy 63rd birthday. I know things have been rough lately, but they will get better. I have no doubt about that. I love you very much. And the kids wanted me to tell you, “Happy Birthday, Uncle Turkey!”

I can’t begin to tell you how truly angry I was that “The Passion Of The Christ” was
not nominated for any of the big Oscars this morning. The thing about the Academy Awards is this: most of the movies that are nominated every year haven’t even played in this part of the country yet. They always nominate movies that came out right at the end of the year. But really, to pass up “Passion” for those other movies was asinine. When was they last time you
heard of a movie that grossed more than 600 million dollars in less than a year? What’s that you say? Never? It’s a travesty of justice. But then, the movie was about a travesty. Giving it nominations for little stuff like makeup, and the movie score, (which was beautiful by the way) was nice, but wholly insufficient. The people in charge of the nominations should be ashamed of themselves.

Here’s a thought for today: if you’re asked to test a foot massager, make sure it’s not a cannibal in disguise.
Firefighters came to the rescue when a woman's foot was trapped in a massage machine that she tried out at a Hong Kong department store, police said Monday.
The woman is going to be fine. Can’t say the same for the machine, though. The company has taken it off the market.

Is it just me, or are rabbis getting as strict as mullahs these days?
Female legislators in Israel have seen red after a leading rabbi compared women who wear the color to prostitutes.

Protesting against a ritual ruling by Rabbi Eliyahu Abergil, head of the rabbinical court in the southern city of Beersheba, banning Jewish women from dressing in red, several woman lawmakers wore the color in parliament Monday.
Since when are prostitutes wearing red? Is that their new “gang” color? I always thought the only thing red was the color of the district they worked in. Seriously, I don’t know a lot about jewish laws, but I do know the Old Testament doesn’t specify a color women aren’t supposed to wear. It only states they are to dress demurely. I think you can do that, and wear red at the same time. Perhaps it depends on the style of clothing.

I owe all my readers an apology. I inadvertently posted a story here earlier this month, about a couple who named their child “Yahoo” since they met each other on the internet. Now I find out it was all made up.
A Romanian tabloid said on Monday it had fired a reporter for making up a story about a couple who named their son Yahoo as a sign of
gratitude for meeting over the Internet.

"It was the reporter's child's birth certificate, which he modified," said Simona Ionescu, Libertatea's deputy editor-in-chief. "We fired him."
Okay CBS, that’s how you handle this type of situation. You don’t ask for resignations, then wait weeks for them to appear.

Again, I apologize. I’m not above saying I was wrong in posting this news item. I will endeavor to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

NASCAR has finally, after 56 years, decided to build a Hall of Fame. But they have run into a snag. Where it should be built: NASCAR has solicited four major U.S. cities to submit bids to create a public-private partnership that would bring a Hall of Fame to their respective communities. Those cities are Daytona Beach, Charlotte, Atlanta and yes, Toto, even Kansas City. Of course, the first place I thought of was Daytona. After all, that’s where it all started. But according to the article, there are advantages to the other three cities as well. So let’s take an unofficial poll right here: Where do you think it should be built? I know if it were in Kansas City, I would be able to go. And you can bet your sweet bippy I would. I love stock car racing. I’m practically counting the days until the Daytona 500 next month. But Charlotte and Atlanta are also great choices. Anyway, let me know what you think.

If you have a high forehead, it could make you some money. If you are a risk taker. And don’t mind being teased. A Web-page designer who auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising space is cashing in. Andrew Fischer, who put his forehead advertising space for sale on e-Bay, received $37,375 to advertise the snoring remedy, SnoreStop. Don’t you love it? I’m thinking of auctioning off my husband’s forehead. Do you think he’d notice the ad? If we got that much money for it, do you think he’d care?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Hello blog world! I'm sorry to disappoint tonight, but tomorrow is Sir Mugley's first day back in school (last semester of undergrad work WOO HOO!), and I have a doctor's appointment as well, so I'm gonna do some light reading and turn in early. But don't worry; I'll be back on the job tomorrow night, and I'll make up for lost time. In the meantime, read the blogroll, read the ads, be a good little grandchild, and I'll see you tomorrow night!

And the hits just keep on coming. Sir Mugley's Pick 3 number came up again today. That's three times we've won since the first of the year. It would have been four, but I neglected to renew my ticket after my last win on the 16th and my number repeated on the 19th. What can I say? Maybe this is our year, after all. BTW, we won another four dollars on Powerball. We're practically rolling in pennies here.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

I'm glad Philadelphia won the early game today. I don't know why, but I've never liked any of the Atlanta sports teams. But I am truly disappointed in Pittsburgh's performance, or the lack thereof. Not being a fan of New England Patriots, I've gotta root for Philly to win the Super Bowl. Now I've gotta wait two weeks for that. With any luck, I'll avoid getting sick. My health seems to have a pattern to it. The times when I've been the sickest were always around Super Bowl Sunday. But not this year. I've got to stay well, in case plans pan out and I get to go to Oregon in March. Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Johnny Carson passed away. This is sad for me, because he was a staple in my late night viewing regimen. Being part bat, nighttime television in the days before cable meant mostly junk, except for the Tonight Show. His midwestern sense of humor, and the way he and Ed McMahon played off each other, made the thirty years he reigned as late night king memorable. Johnny, you will be missed.

Vicky of Overtaken by Events is working on a tsunami relief team from St. Gabriel's Episcopal Church. The team is currently working in India. Matt, her husband, has posted some of the pictures she's taken while there.

Michelle at A Small Victory is kinda live-blogging the snowstorm of the century in New York. And she has pictures! The pictures are real; the stories, well, maybe not so much...

Here's something I think all parents and teachers should know about. Those whiteboards that are popping up everywhere instead of chalkboards can be hazardous to your childrens' eyesight. In England, they are doing a study on this, because of concerns that came up three years ago while the boards were being installed. The engineers doing the work claimed they were dazzled by the brightness, and saw stars for a while. The whiteboards can apparently cause damage to peripheral vision. If you are a parent, and they use these boards in school, or if you are a teacher, or executroid who uses whiteboards in your work, perhaps there is a way to turn down the brightness on the display. Just something you may want to consider. We don't want to damage anyone's eyes.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Today's public service announcement: If you're going to rob a pizza delivery driver, do not, under any circumstances, ask that person for a date. You probably won't like the results.

Not hardly! He's a lot better at this than I am.

Your Famous Blogger Twin is Dave Barry

Funny, witty, and clever!
You always have a ton of offbeat links to share

Who's Your Famous Blogger Twin?

Today marked the 32nd anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision in the Supreme Court. Since that time, approximately 35-40 million babies have been destroyed. There were marches and protests on both sides of the issue today in cities all over the nation. This article is about as fair an article as you're going to find regarding both sides of the issue. I am very much opposed to abortion, for any reason. The absolute best way to beat pregnancy is not getting pregnant in the first place. I consider myself in favor of a woman's right to choose, right up to the point where she gets pregnant. At that point in time, the choice has been made.

Please don't inundate me with the rape and incest aspects of the abortion debate. That applies to less than 2% of the total abortions done in this nation. Abortions are being done as an alternate method of birth control. That is just wrong.

I can't truly consider myself a "right to life" person, because I'm also in favor of the death penalty. Those people made a choice as well. They chose to commit a crime that is punishable by death.

Let's say a prayer for the babies that were never born. Let's also say a prayer for their mothers, who have to live with that fact for the rest of their lives.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a while. Some rumors are flying around Washington that the Democrats would approve a Constitutional amendment allowing naturalized citizens like Ahnold to run for president. In return, they would want the Republicans to agree to repealing the 22nd Amendment, which would allow a person to run for a third Presidential term. Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if the Republicans even considered this? Petitions to recall senators and congressmen would be flying into state capitols nationwide. I know I'd be furious if there was even a chance Bill Clinton could run for another term.

Received by email:

Ever mindful of the congregation, the Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog, and knew that the dog also had to be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs.

Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife.

"Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner."

Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.

That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor ' s forehead and began to howl.

The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"

It's true, you can buy anything on eBay. I can't believe nine people actually bid on this.

I'd like to wish Zero Intelligence a very happy first blogiversary today. They do an excellent job of highlighting zero tolerance blunders and abuses in our country's school systems. I wish you many more years of highlighting these injustices for us. You do a valuable service to our nation.

Over at Wizbang, you can get all the information you need to purchase your very own badonkadonk. Please, not everybody at once. You'll all have a chance.

I'm not sure where I read it the other day (I think it was Acidman) but he was talking about the five people who "messed" up the country the most in my lifetime. I've thought about this for a while, and here's what I've come up with:

1. Richard Nixon - he not only screwed up trying to cover up the Watergate break-in, but he totally discredited the Republican Party, causing the election of Jimmy Carter.

2. Jimmy Carter - got us neck-deep in the Middle East peace-keeping process. Also messed up with the hostage crisis in Iran. He's still trying to mess us up.

3. Madelyn Murray O'Hare - thanks to her, kids aren't praying in school anymore, except for the urgent prayers they whisper under their breath when they're taking tests.

4. Lyndon Johnson - escalated our involvement in Vietnam, expanded entitlement programs to the breaking point, and forced us to look at his daughters (ack!)

5. The ACLU - yes, I know that's not a single person. But everyone involved is a moonbat trying to destroy the country by perverting the laws of the land. If there is someone in the ACLU who doesn't fit that category, what are you doing there? The stink does rub off, you know.

Now, who would you pick? Sir Mugley had some different choices, but he's been alive longer than I have. Poor baby.

All right, ladies. Who wants to see the top contender to be the next James Bond? I gotta tell ya, he's not bad.

Here's a great weather forecast on a television station in Boston:
Battlestations! MAJOR snow's on the way. Here's the tenative timetable:

Another frigid night tonight. Lows a few degrees either side of zero. Hazy sun tomorrow as light snow continues out on Cape Cod.

Those snowshowers on Cape Cod join hands with a developing band of snow offshore and sweep into Boston in the afternoon. Meantime, the meat of the storm moves up from the southwest late day. We're in a pickle! The game is on!

Steady light snow turns heavy and ugly by midnight as the lines between ocean-effect and the main-storm blur. Sideways snow with near-blizzard conditions by the wee hours on Cape Cod and the Islands. Boston will be near whiteouts at times...classic nor'easter style.

The snow will be like baby powder: light and fluffy, but also dense in wind-driven snow banks. Try and keep it off your buns though.

Problems include the possibility of splashover at high tide on Sunday morning (see above) and the near-blizzard conditions on the Islands (ferry service may be halted) Sat. night and Sunday AM. Cape Cod/Martha's Vineyard/Nantucket take it on the chin with this one.

Snow in Pittsburgh? Yeah tomorrow morning. Should be gone by game time with temps in the teens. Snow on the sidelines and maybe in the stands will give the Pittsburgh fans something to play with when the Pats are up by 30 in the fourth quarter.

FYI, I got dibbs on the english muffins in the bread isle - don't mess with me...I know Mr. Whipple.

Isn't that great? Might as well have a sense of humor about it, because you're sure not gonna change it!

Three cheers to Yanita Rowan of Colorado, who has totally brightened up her neighborhood by dressing up her gargoyles in colorful outfits. It's becoming quite a tourist attraction.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Looks like we're going to have a rather mundane evening here, gang. Not too much going on in the regular news sites. Well, nothing unusual anyway. Just more complaining by the Dems and other liberals, more whining by the Europeans, more bluster from the axis of weasels, etc. I'll keep looking for stuff, though.

We had a strangely productive day here today. It was in the 50's (65 yesterday!). I went to our area Community Action Corporation to apply for our winter energy assistance. Being well below the poverty level, we are eligible for various groups to help pay our electric bills, and we get commodities, food stamps, Medicaid, etc. Thank you to everyone who pays taxes for this assistance. Without it, we'd die. Literally.

Anyway, after that I went to the store for a few more supplies, then put gas in the car and watched the highway patrol take care of a wreck that was blocking my way home.

Our daughter came over to let us know her ultrasound came out good. She had an appointment with an ob-gyn and they are trying some treatments to help her so she doesn't have to have surgery.

Sir Mugley started working on rearranging the bedroom so he can put a desk in there to study on. I wish he'd started four weeks ago; he goes back to school on Tuesday and there's a lot of work left to do.

And that's my Friday. Hope yours was better.

I think this poor scientist is going to need a long rest.
David Atkinson spent 18 years designing an experiment for the unmanned space mission to Saturn. Now some pieces of it are lost in space. Someone forgot to turn on the instrument Atkinson needed to measure the winds on Saturn's largest moon.
Frankly, I'd want to kill somebody. He seems to have taken it all in stride, but NASA should provide him with a long vacation so he doesn't explode.

If you should need a scary story to tell on a campout, then thanks to SondraK, we have this one: The Possom In The Stove. I may not be able to go to sleep. I'll hear skittering all night.

Now that Arlen Specter has the chairmanship of the Judiciary Committee, he's taken off the sheep's clothing he was wearing, and has reverted to the wolf he always was. Michelle Malkin brings us the latest on this two-faced Senator.

In the movie Face/Off, one of the agents at the beginning of the movie had his ear shot off. Later, in the clinic, they showed a laser creating a new ear for the guy. That's what I thought of when I read this story. Scientists have developed a way to print skin grafts on a printer, the way we would print a letter. They enter the proper dimensions, and a sample of the skin, and out comes a strip of skin ready to attach to the victim. This is so cool!

Here's a word of advice to the not-so-wise: If you're hauling 110 pounds of top-of-the-line pot, worth more than $800,000, use your turn signals, you moron.

Isn't he adorable? Well, imagine having 20 of him in your home. That's the task facing a couple in England, since their Neapolitan mastiff named Tia gave birth to 24 of the little darlings. Four of them weren't strong enough to survive, but the other 20 are doing fine. I'm sure they'll be well taken care of, since each of these pups is worth more than $1,800. Perhaps I should go into the puppy business. I thought we had a houseful when our lab gave birth to nine. I couldn't handle 20. If you want to see more pics of these little guys, click here.

I thought that Oregon drivers were dangerous when it snowed, but they don't hold a candle to drivers in North Carolina. One inch of snow, and suddenly everything shuts down, 3,000 kids were stranded in schools overnight, seven hour commutes to go eight miles, etc. They complained that the snow turned to ice. Of course it's going to turn to ice if you sit still and the exhaust from your car melts the snow. It's going to freeze again.

I was staying with my sister and her husband in Salem, Oregon way back in 1977, and they had their first real snow in seven years. It accumulated almost an inch. You'd think the world was coming to an end. We stood at the window and laughed so hard at the couple across the street. He was from California, his wife was from Alaska. So he gets the car stuck trying to get out of the driveway to go to work. This moron has his wife out there putting chains on the car instead of doing it himself. I guess he didn't want to get his suit wet. Then, the real capper, was when he told his wife to just put a chain on the left rear tire, "because that's the one that was spinning." When she got that one on, he gunned the engine and almost fishtailed over the top of his wife. She had to run up in our yard to get out of his way.

Some people just shouldn't live where it could snow.

Lately, my mind has been working overtime coming up with unusual thoughts. If you know anyone in the television or movie industry, I've got a couple of show ideas that haven't been done before. I think they could really be good, if they fell into the right hands.

Wyoming is considering making the jackalope their official state mythical creature. It seems they don't have anything better to do in Wyoming.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

FEMA has their very own Tsunami Game. It's designed for kids, so they can clean up after a tsunami has hit the beach.

You know how stories of men getting hit in the groin will make a man cringe and try to protect himself? Well, here's a story that will have the same effect on women: Woman gives birth to 16 1/2 pound baby boy. Feeling faint... must lie down now.

This story is wrong on so many levels. A man in Montreal is claiming that his marriage to a 10 year old girl is legal under Canadian law.
The man, who is now 52, said outside court that current laws make it possible to marry anyone - "even a baby" - because there is no minimum age. However, he also said "federal common law" puts the minimum age at seven years old.

He has acknowledged that Quebec law set the marriage age at 16 in 2001 but maintains the amendment doesn't apply to him because he had already wed the girl.
They have been married for five years already. But what about her parents, you ask? Why haven't they protected this child?
The man said he had the consent of the girl's mother, who is a single parent. He didn't know the whereabouts of her father at the time and still doesn't.
Okay, so Mom should be facing charges as well, right? Well, it gets even more disgusting from here.
The man said he wants the case sorted out so he can also get on with his plans to minister to married couples.

"I need my wife at my side to do such a ministry," he said.
Eeeewwww!! I'm going to go wash my mind out now.

Moscow had plans to build a monument to the leaders of the Allies who were victorious in World War II. Now they've decided to modify it, by leaving Joseph Stalin off the statue. I'll probably make people mad, but I think this is a big mistake. Even though Stalin was a bad man, and I've no doubt about that, he was also a big part of the victory over the Nazis. I don't see anything wrong with acknowledging that fact. What do you think?

Nancy Pelosi (spit) is in the unenviable position of having to defend Robert "KKK" Byrd's decision to hold up the floor vote on Condoleezza Rice's confirmation.
"I don't think that whatever Senator Byrd is doing has anything to do with his sad past," Pelosi told WWRL radio hosts Steve Malzberg and Karen Hunter.

Instead, said the San Francisco Democrat, the one-time Grand Kleagel was acting out of concern that the advise-and-consent role of the Senate in presidential appointments was being overlooked.
Puh-leeze! His "sad past" is precisely the reason he was the choice to be the "obstruction". Are we going to have to put up with this crap for four more years?

Two more icons in the music world have passed away:

Jody Berry, a nightclub singer who headlined hot spots such as the Coconut Grove in Los Angeles and sang with jazz legend Ella Fitzgerald, died Tuesday. He was 68. Berry's new CD recording, "For Lovers Over Fifty and Under," is scheduled to be released soon, Olson said. Berry also created a men's clothing line, L'Uoma Elegante, and a line of upscale golf wear sold at boutiques in Los Angeles.

Dudley Hill, a bluegrass, rock and jazz guitarist who was one of the founders of the jazz-rock band Pearl Django, died Saturday. He was 56. Hill, who quit the band in March after battling colon cancer for about three years, died at his home, relatives and fellow musicians said.

Vilmar over at BMEWS brings us some possible business mergers in 2005. Let's get ready to invest!

You really must read this: The Majesty That Is The English Language. Please, whatever you do, don't be drinking anything while you read this. I almost fell off the bed laughing. At the same time, I have to wonder, how do English teachers keep from losing their minds?

Here we are: Darth Tater! This is Mr. Potato Head's newest relative, who has gone over to the dark side. The toy spud will be available next month, ahead of the May release of ``Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith,'' the latest installment in that film series.

Darth Tater will come with a light saber, cape and helmet, in addition to the regular Mr. Potato Head accessories such as eyes, mouth and nose. The Hasbro toy will retail for $7.99.

I remember, during the Vietnam War, people could purchase bracelets with the names of the Missing in Action or the Killed In Action veterans. Now there's something similar available. You can purchase a Hero Bracelet with the name, rank, hometown, branch of service, and the date they made the ultimate sacrifice for this country. And a portion of the purchase price of every bracelet will go to the Fallen Heroes Fund, which is used to help the families of these brave men. If you can, please check it out and perhaps purchase a bracelet for yourself, or give them to friends to honor the soldiers who have given more than just a few bucks to the cause.

I feel so sorry for the DA in this story. Some days you're better off just staying home in bed.

Congratulations to Dean and Rosemary Esmay, on the birth of their beautiful baby boy, Draco Eugene. He is adorable! Lookout girls, he's gonna be a stud!! By the way, when will Draco be getting his own blog? After all, the Prince of All Evil must be able to communicate with his minions.

Michelle Malkin brings us a look at what Homeland Security has been accomplishing behind the scenes in our behalf. Read this post, then tell me we don't have anything to worry about. If you can do it with a straight face, I'll vote for a Democrat in the next election. Of course, I'm not going to say what office it will be for, but I will do it. On my honor.

Dash over at Boiling Point brings us a hilarious story of what it's like to ride in an F14D Fighter Jet. Drink alert is definitely in effect for this one.

Here's a few little bits of trivia for you to ponder:

* Smokey the Bear has his own zip code. It's 20252.

* The underside of a horse's hoof is called a "frog."

* The two most commonly sold items in grocery stores are breakfast cereals and soda.

* The average resident of Nevada gambles $846 each year in casinos.

* In an early draft of "Star Wars," the character of Luke Skywalker was called Luke Starkiller.

* Of the 17,000 poems Emily Dickenson wrote, only seven were published during her lifetime.

* Stalin loved Tarzan movies.

* Twenty percent of all publications sold in Japan are comic books.

* The world's record for keeping a Lifesaver in the mouth with the hole intact is seven hours and 10 minutes.

* More redheads are born in Scotland than other part of the world.

* "Shambles" used to mean "slaughterhouse."

* The average iceberg weighs 20 million tons.

* Bill Gates gets four million e-mails each day, but only about 10 make it to his in-box because of his anti-spam software.

* The white part of your fingernail is called the "lunia."

* Eighty percent of migraine sufferers are female.

Grab more dopey, useless trivia here.

Do you remember the movie "Hunt For Red October"? Well, there really was a Red October submarine. It's scheduled to be turned to scrap. It has been sitting in a Barents Sea shipyard for several years, and now will be decommissioned and the U.S. will pay for demolition of the boat.

Officials in Tampa, Florida should really think about changing some of their street names. They can be confusing to service companies, such as the roofing company that ripped the roof off the wrong house. The house they wanted was a block away. The business owner said he would have made the same mistake.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

If you're planning to go to the big island of Hawaii for some peace and quiet, don't get your hopes up. Seems they're having a bit of a problem with too many coqui frogs, which make an ungodly screaming sound at night. They have an infestation of them, and are trying to get assistance in curbing their procreation. So if you're going there, you might want to take some earplugs.

16 out of 18 Senators confirmed Condoleezza Rice for the position of Secretary of State. The two Senators who voted no? Barbara Boxer and John Kerry, who else? Mr. and Mrs. Moonbat of the DNC voted against the first black woman to hold the job. I wonder why?

UPDATE: Looks like it's not going to be smooth sailing on the floor of the Senate. The Dems are using former KKK-member Robert Byrd to "obstruct" the final vote on Dr. Rice. Why they chose him to lead this blockade is beyond me. I would have thought the Dems were running out of ways to shoot themselves in the foot. If they keep this up, there won't be any Democrats in Congress in a couple of years.

Cuba, maker of fine cigars (I'm told), is planning to ban smoking in all enclosed public places. Isn't that like Germany banning all beer sales?

JibJab has come out with a new cartoon, this one about President Bush's second term. To view the cartoon, click here.

Here's the story of Luke Porto and his malicious Milk Dud. He's going to have to go to juvenile court because he threw 1/2 a Milk Dud out the window of a moving vehicle. It hit another car and scared the female driver. When he didn't show enough remorse to suit her, she decided to press charges.

Chris Carter and David Duchovny are planning another X-files movie. They're working on a script now and hope to start filming sometime next year. Are you excited?

MSNBC Breaking News:

At least 26 people were killed in four car bombings in Baghdad today. One of the explosions was a truck bomb that detonated near the Australian embassy. I'm sure there will be more on this later today.

Well, gang, I took the plunge today. I've filed for the April elections as a candidate for our county Emergency Services Board. Yep, I'll be helping run our brand-new 911 system. Now we'll wait and see if I can get elected. I've been wanting to get involved in something, but trying to go back to work was pretty much out of the question. I'm too much at the mercy of the weather health-wise. If it weren't for that, I would have applied for a job as a dispatcher. But on the board, I wouldn't have to go to work every day, but still I would be getting involved in helping others. With my experience as a dispatcher for a burglar alarm company, and my years working at the Veterans Administration hospital in Kansas City, I think I can fumble my way through. I didn't even think to ask if it pays anything. It doesn't really matter. The cost of living is really pretty cheap around here. Anyhoo, wish me luck on this election. Maybe I'll work my way up to County Commission (no way in this world).

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Something new in the world of cosmetic surgery: Gummy Bear breast implants. I don't know what else to say.

A Saudi man recently had surgery to remove a toothbrush that had been in his stomach for 22 years. I'm not really sure why he would swallow a toothbrush, but it doesn't seem to have done any permanent harm. It didn't start bothering him until a few days before the surgery. Makes me wonder how bad the food is over there.

I didn't watch Survivor until recently, but I did get the impression that Richard Hatch was a jerk. Well, now there's proof that he's stupid. Knowing that the entire nation knew he'd won a million dollars, he still didn't report it on his income taxes. Nor did he report the 300,000 dollars he was paid by a Boston radio station. Did he think the people who work at the IRS never watch television?

Ty Pennington, the cutest contractor on the face of the earth, had to have an emergency appendectomy while filming an episode of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" in Atlanta. Rather than disappoint the family whose home was being rebuilt, he guided the rest of the team from his hospital bed. I must confess, I've got a crush on him, although I'm sure he's a good deal younger than I. And I love that program, even though it makes me cry every single week. Get well quickly, dear man. The world needs more people like you.

A seeing-eye dog couldn't wait and relieved himself at the Detroit-Orlando NBA game. The game was delayed for three minutes while the excrement was cleaned up. Now there's a dog with real taste!

Monday, January 17, 2005

I gotta tell ya, I think my luck is finally changing for the better. I told you all earlier that we'd been doing okay on the Powerball. Of course, it couldn't have gotten worse, as we'd never won anything until this year. So far, since the first of the year, we've won four dollars on every Powerball drawing, except the last one. I can live with that. It's still a big profit margin. On the other hand, Sir Mugley won fifty bucks on the Pick 3 last week. We were pleased with that. Well surprise! I won fifty bucks on Pick 3 Sunday afternoon! I couldn't believe it. At this rate we'll reach the poverty level by the end of the year! Woo hoo!!

Aren't we all glad we don't live in Minnesota? 54 degrees below zero? Yikes!

The Iraqi "insurgents" may have gone too far this time. They have kidnapped a Catholic archbishop. Some people would say, it doesn't matter who it was, an archbishop isn't any more valuable than anyone else. Others would say, like on a chess board, you rank the players and the side with the most points wins. Speaking as a non-Catholic, I'm truly sorry this has happened to the archbishop, and I hope he is freed from these maniacs as soon as possible, hopefully in one piece. I don't care if he's Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, or Islamic. He's a human being and deserves to be treated with respect. But that's a word these terrorists don't seem to understand.

So true, so true...

You Should Try Car Racing

You've got an unbelievable need for speed
No little fear of crashing will stop your lead foot

What Extreme Sport Should You Try?

Imagine going to the dentist to get a toothache taken care of, only to find out it's not your tooth, it's the nail embedded in your skull that's causing the pain! That's what happened to a Breckenridge, Colorado man. He apparently shot himself when the nail gun he was using backfired. He didn't feel it pierce the roof of his mouth at all. This is so weird. How could you not know you shot yourself?

Sunday, January 16, 2005

I was partially disappointed in today's football games today. I'm very happy about Philadelphia winning today, even though Minnesota was one of my teams this year. However, I'm not at all happy about Indianapolis losing to New England (see post of a couple of days ago for reason why). On the other hand, it was nice seeing a football game played in inclement weather for a change. I'm so tired of watching supposedly tough guys playing football indoors on a carpet. The best games are always played in bad weather: snow, rain, fog, etc. Too bad there aren't more of them on television any more.

Here's something a little different for you. In Birmingham, England, they think they have a vampire stalking the streets. Now would be a good time to have a garlic concession.

Not much going on tonight. Everybody's talking about the stupid Golden Globe awards. The foreign press selects their ideas of best picture, actor, etc., after getting as much graft as possible (I've heard them admit it). Then the people who decide the nominees for the Oscars tell who they've chosen. Like they'd be any different from the GG's. These shows are so pathetic. I used to watch them faithfully when I was younger and more naive. They're no better than the People's Choice awards, which are decided online now, so I'm sure the voting is slanted. It is with every other award selection on line. Well, enough of my cynicism for one night.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

That's all for tonight folks. I'm done early for a change, and I'm going to take something for a headache I've had ever since I went to the store today. Being the 15th, I took my trusty "food stamp" card to restock the larder for the month. But I went to a different store than usual, because they were having a sale. Yes, I did get some bargains, but the service in the store more than made up for the benefits I gained. You have a full-size store, the only one in town, and there were two people working. They were moderately busy, so naturally one of the two decided to take a break. This left the other one, who moved at a speed that would make a glacier resemble Speedy Gonzales. I kid you not. I waited in line for nearly a half hour. Then, I had to load the food into the cart, along with my oxygen tank, haul it out to the car, load it in the car, and take their stupid cart back. I'm going back to my old store. I pay a little more, but they do all the work for me. It's worth it to cough up an extra buck or two. Goodnight.

Finally, after all these years, a Barney the dinosaur I can love! Go Barney!

Army Spc. Charles Graner Jr. has been sentenced to ten years in prison because of his involvement in the Abu Ghraib scandal. I really don't have much opinion on this, as I don't think we really know what went on in that prison completely. But to the extent we do know, ten years sounds fair. Whether what they did constitutes torture, I do not think so. But they did give the U.S. a giant black eye with those stupid pictures. They should get ten years for being stupid.

I got these in the mail today:


JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you idiot!"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.......
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Friday, January 14, 2005

If the NBA collapsed into a black hole tomorrow, I couldn't care less. I do, however, enjoy March Madness with the college teams. But that all pales in the light of this week's Vermont highlighted high school basketball game. The final score: Bellows Free Academy-Fairfax 5, Milton 2.
The scoring was kept way down on purpose, a strategy made possible by the fact that Vermont high schools don't use a shot clock. No player went to the free-throw line as Milton committed five fouls and BFA had one.

BFA took a 5-0 lead and neither team scored in the second half.

"It was the ultimate deliberate stalemate," Milton coach Jim Smith said. "They didn't come out after us and we didn't go in against them."

Smith said the slowdown was implemented because BFA (7-4) has a strong scoring presence, while Milton (2-8) does not. The Milton players believed their best chance to be competitive was to just hold onto the ball.

The strategy almost worked.

"We had a shot go off the rim that would have tied it," Smith said. "We were one possession away to tie the game. We have not been in that position for quite some time."

Alex Weber's basket gave BFA a 2-0 lead in the first quarter. Shadoe Adams' 3-pointer made it 5-0 at the start of the second quarter. Brian Phelps scored later in the period and Milton trailed 5-2 at halftime.

"I've never had a player hit a game-winner in the second quarter before," BFA-Fairfax coach Glen Button Jr. said.
I would have paid good money just to watch the faces of the parents in the crowd.

Pfc. William Patnode
Pfc. Charles Meskunas
Pvt. James Stewart
Pfc. Gregory Lafountain

These four Marines deserve some sort of medal or commendation, at the very least acknowledgement for a heroic save.
Pulling a man from his burning tractor-trailer cab, New York Marines helped save a man’s life Monday.

Pfc. William Patnode, Pfc. Charles Meskunas, Pvt. James Stewart and Pfc. Gregory Lafountain were driving south on Interstate 87 to check in for their Permissive Recruiters Assistance Program class here shortly after they graduated from Marine Corps Recruit Training in Parris Island, S.C.

Minutes after passing Exit 31, the group spotted flames through the fog on the North Country road. As the accident grew closer, the Marines were able to fully view the wreckage.

A nearly empty fuel tanker had rammed into the back end of a tractor-trailer truck in the southbound lane of the highway.
These Marines had no way of knowing if the tanker was empty or full, or if anyone was trapped inside. They just leapt into action.
While Lafountain and Patnode went for help, Meskunas and Stewart, with the help of an unidentified truck driver, pulled the 57-year-old Cornelius J. Mahar from the burning vehicle. After the unidentified truck driver used a knife to cut away Mahar’s seatbelt, the Marines carried him on a sleeping bag to a spot about a quarter mile away and applied basic first aid to Mahar while waiting for emergency assistance.
An Assemblyman, Chris Ortloff, also pulled over to help and took photographs of the Marines at work.
When help arrived, the Marines continued doing their part at the scene of the accident by directing traffic and assisting with emergency vehicles.

“They were working on him when we arrived,” said Westport Fire Chief, Jim Westover to the Press- Republican. “They grabbed gear from the ambulance and kept working. They were incredible.”
Two hours late, the foursome reported in for their class in Albany. After the Marines told Sgt. Maj. Andrew L. Yagle, sergeant major RS Albany, about their ordeal, Yagle recognized their adherence to the Marine Corps’ ethos.
All four Marines credited their life-saving action to the training they received from Senior Drill Instructors Staff Sgt. Norman, Staff Sgt. Collinson, and Staff Sgt. Lytle during recruit training at Parris Island, S.C. They said that training gave them the ability to handle a situation this critical.

“They definitely displayed their honor, courage and commitment,” said Yagle. “The purpose of my class here is to remind them of the positive image and roles they need to portray here on the home front. They did just that, they set a good example, and we’re proud of them.”
The only way I could be more proud of these young men was if I was one of their mothers. Semper fi!

Stolen from Julie R. Neidlinger, here are this year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Contest, also known as the "Dark And Stormy Night" contest. Contestants were to write the absolute worst opening line of a story. Here's what they came up with:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."


1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"

I guess I'm not as nerdy as I thought. I'm gonna have to work on that!

I am nerdier than 38% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Right now, I am soooo hoping that the Indianapolis Colts destroy the Patriots this weekend. The Patriots deliberately left their field uncovered during the rain/snow onslaught this week in order to make it a mudpuddle from one end to the other. They think that will give them an even greater advantage than just home-field gives them. I didn't have a dog in this fight, but now I do. GO COLTS!!

There's a new Vermont Teddy Bear on the market for Valentine's Day this year. At least, there is for now. The Crazy For You bear, meant to convey out-of-control love, comes with its own little straightjacket and commitment papers. Mental health advocates, who apparently have no sense of humor, are outraged and want it taken off the market. Personally, I think it would be wrong to give it to someone with a mental illness, but otherwise I think it's cute. Sir Mugley, who is studying psychology, feels about the same. What do you think?

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I've often thought of selling some stuff I have around here on eBay to raise a little extra money, but I haven't gotten around to doing it yet. But some people use eBay as a store, selling all their wares online through the auction service. These people are upset that eBay is planning to raise their rates.
Starting Feb. 18, eBay said the monthly subscription fee for people who operate "Basic eBay Stores" will increase from $9.95 to $15.95.

The fee for a standard listing of 10 days will double, from 20 cents to 40 cents.
My goodness, you'd think it was the end of the world.
"It seems as though the larger eBay becomes, the more greedy they become," said Lynette McDonald of Alton, Ill., who has sold Barbie and baby clothes on eBay since 2001. She says she may close her eBay store entirely because of the fee hikes or raise prices she changes buyers.

"This site used to be a place where one could get a good deal," McDonald said. "Now that the starting prices on goods are higher to accommodate the growing fees incurred, there are no more deals to be had."
If they can't afford 16 bucks a month, they shouldn't be in business. Fine, stop using eBay. Open a real store and pay rent. See how fast you come back.

A couple in Bucharest, Romania has succombed to idiocy which tends to strike new parents these days. They have named their newborn son Yahoo, in recognition of the fact that they met on the Internet. Do you think they know what a yahoo really is?

Recently a group of 71 Jewish scholars reinstated the Sanhedrin, something that hadn't been done for more than 1,600 years. Now, this Sanhedrin has started searching for the next King of Israel. Of course this king must be a direct descendant of King David, and that's not going to be an easy thing to prove. But they have a contender in the lead, a rabbi named Yosef Dayan
."Dayan has the best lineage to King David," several members of the Sanhedrin told The Jerusalem Post. They say he has two documented ancient sources which draw a direct line between him and the males in his family to King David some 3,000 years ago.
Biblical scholars studying end-time prophesies will understand that the reinstatement of the Sanhedrin, and the finding of the red heifer required for purification of the temple priests, are both signs of the coming tribulations. But that's not all they're up to.
Some of the other ideas discussed at the Sanhedrin meeting included the construction of an altar on the Temple Mount to be used for the Passover Offering during the upcoming holiday. One of the ideas, members said, is to climb the Mount and build the altar within minutes and sacrifice the lamb before security forces can stop them.
Could this be the beginning of the rebuilding of the Temple? Time is surely passing quickly. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in worldly things, we forget how quickly eternity is approaching. Let's keep our hearts and minds on the things that really matter.

You know, Clint Eastwood has always been great to me. But his worth just went up in my opinion. The way he feels about Michael Moore makes me like him even more.
"Michael Moore and I actually have a lot in common - we both appreciate living in a country where there's free expression," Eastwood was quoted as telling the National Board of Review awards dinner in New York Tuesday night.

With a cold glare Eastwood took notice of Moore sitting in the audience and said bluntly and without a smile: "But, Michael, if you ever show up at my front door with a camera - I'll kill you."

The Daily News reports the audience erupted in laughter, and Eastwood grinned. "I mean it," Eastwood said again.
I don't think the crowd believed him, nor did Michael Moore who also laughed with the audience. What do you think? Did he mean it?

Prince Harry has once again caused his family grief. In a move that goes way beyond "inappropriate", he wore a Nazi costume to a party. Has he had any discipline growing up? He's scheduled to enter a military academy later this year, and some people think his application should be withdrawn. That would be a huge mistake. If there's one thing this spoiled child of over-indulgence needs, it's discipline. I say, the sooner, the better. Get his butt in military school and keep it there until he starts to act his age.

UPDATE: Prince Charles has ordered both his sons to visit Auschwitz with a Jewish charity group. He believes this will enlighten the lads. A razor strop would also enlighten them, but that would be wrong.

While we're on the subject of dead people, actress Thelma White passed away from pneumonia on Tuesday. You probably don't remember her, as she was 95 at the time of her death, but she starred in one of the greatest all-time hilarious movies ever made. She played the lead actress in Reefer Madness. If you haven't seen this oldie, try to get hold of a copy. You'll laugh your butt off.

The music world lost two more legends this week.

Spencer Dryden, 66, died Monday in his home after losing his battle with cancer. Spencer was the drummer for Jefferson Airplane in the 60's, and played for New Riders of the Purple Sage in the 70's. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1996.

Another legend to succomb to cancer was singer-songwriter Jimmy Griffin, who was one of the founders of the group Bread. He won an Academy Award for co-writing the song "For All We Know" for the Carpenters. In the 80's he teamed up with ex-Eagle Randy Meisner to form the group Black Tie, then in the 90's worked with the country band The Remingtons. Both will be missed.

A woman in Jersey City is homeless today, after her house exploded when roach foggers interacted with a pilot light. The roaches survived.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A company in the UK called French Connection is in trouble with the advertising oversight group there, due to their double entendres in their ads for the FCUK line of personal products, such as cologne. I'm having trouble figuring how they could advertise such a line without it being suggestive.

I always knew that many lawyers have no sense of humor. In Hempstead, NY, two men waiting in line at the courthouse were telling each other lawyer jokes, and a lawyer took offense. He reported them, and they were charged with disorderly conduct.

Two men who run a recycling center in Oslo, Norway were given a contract to pick up an ATM which was outdated. After they picked it up, as they continued their route, they received a message that the security guard at the store where the machine had been had been trying to get hold of them. Apparently the bank forgot there was money in the machine. Upon retrieval of the money, the guard told the two men there was enough money to "buy a house, take a luxury vacation and still have money to burn."

Attention all Vietnam Veterans: Branson, Missouri is your destination. Operation Homecoming USA will be held in June, in honor of the 30th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War. There will be several days of events specifically designed to give the Veterans of Vietnam the homecoming they never received in the 1970's. Instead they were given a lot of grief. This has been a long time coming. You will want to make your room reservations early, as they are expecting as many as 100,000 veterans and their families to attend. This is for you, guys. You earned it. I'm just sorry it took so long. If you are a blogger, spread the news. Let's make sure these veterans have the opportunity to attend.

I've gotta tell ya, I'm really impressed with our new governor so far. The second youngest governor in the state of Missouri's history (Kit Bond was four months younger), Matt Blunt, son of Rep. Roy Blunt, is already making good on his campaign promises.
The new governor announced that he's closing the state's office in Washington D.C., saving $164,000 a year.

"We have nine members of the House, two members of the Senate," Blunt said at his first official news conference. "They comprise a delegation perfectly capable of representing our state's interest in the nation's capitol."

He also put a moratorium on purchases of new cellular telephones, office space and non-emergency vehicles.

"As you know, the state has not been able to determine how many state vehicles it has," Blunt said. "If we can't determine how many vehicles we own, we shouldn't be in the business of purchasing vehicles."
He's announced the savings will be put toward improvements in education. This "kid" has really got it on the ball. The next four years are going to be interesting. But he's also trimming the fat here in the state offices.
Blunt also repealed former Gov. Bob Holden's executive order of 2001 that expanded bargaining powers for state employee unions. He also has dismissed high-ranking employees in many executive departments. He says the firings are all part of his plan to change state government.
Several of the dismissed employees were with the Department of Natural Resources, a department which has been top-heavy with management for a long time.

The folks over at DGCI are raising funds for the American Cancer Society. Please go over and give a dollar or two. You don't have to give a lot. We all know someone who has been affected by cancer. We have to stop it somewhere. I try to give every spring when the local society sells daffodils to raise funds. I know the timing isn't great, with the tsunami fundraisers and the mudslide assistance needs, but this scourge won't go away without all our help. It will only take a minute, but it may give someone a lifetime.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Poor Ruben Cornejo. All he wanted to do was have a pig roast, and he and thirteen others wound up in the hospital. Of course, it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been roasting his pig in the basement of his home. The fourteen victims were treated for carbon monoxide poisoning, and Mr. Cornejo was warned to get rid of the propane tanks and stop roasting pigs in his basement.

I would have thought I'd rank older than this.

You Are 26 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Observations & Rants Blog Directory

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?