Day By Day© by Chris Muir.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

I've got three brief items for y'all tonight:

This poor man just wanted to clean up his local park, because the city didn't have the funds in the budget to do it. So he started mowing the grass, and was promptly arrested for it.

In Dallas, the idiots in control of a home owner's association let the power go to their heads, and threatened to have a veteran's car towed, because it had Marine Corps bumper stickers on it.

Finally, in Kansas a six year old boy was, in my opinion, assaulted on the order of his school principal. This kid had a short mohawk haircut, not my favorite look but harmful to no one, and the principal didn't like it. So this jerkwad had one of the staff shave the boy's head. I told Sir Mugley that if that had happened to one of our kids, we would've had teacher for dinner that night.

What is all this claptrap about how aggressive the GOP should be with Judge Sotomayor? Give me a break! You treat her like you'd treat anybody else in that situation. Race, sex, ethnic group, sexual proclivities, it doesn't matter. I would suggest, however, that you refrain from asking questions she'd be expecting. For example, instead of asking how she feels about the Second Amendment, ask her where she stands on the Castle Doctrine. Instead of asking her opinion on abortion, ask her whether adoption rules should be less restrictive to make that a viable option for unwed mothers-to-be. And ask her why she thinks most of the people in Puerto Rico are opposed to statehood. She won't be expecting those questions, and you might actually see what type person she really is underneath.

And, forgive me for being un-PC, but wouldn't you pay good money if, as she walked into the room, someone would start playing the overture from West Side Story? (I'll just go over here and snap my fingers for a while now.)

Friday, May 29, 2009

This is getting beyond ridiculous. Now Antigua is renaming a mountain on St. John's, calling it Mount Obama National Park. Excuse me while I get sick.

This is important. Mel and Chris need your help. Go over and buy a cookbook or five. Give them to friends and relatives. The money is going to a good cause, not like those others who only write cookbooks so they can put in a pool or something. Do what your grandma tell you!

It's about time. Some University of Chicago student is working to start up a program for men's studies. And why not? Why should women get to have all the fun?

Well, so much for no taxation of the poor people. Get ready for a national sales tax.
(White House Budget Director Peter) Orszag has hired a prominent VAT advocate to advise him on health care: Ezekiel Emanuel, brother of White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel and author of the 2008 book "Health Care, Guaranteed." Meanwhile, former Federal Reserve chairman Paul A. Volcker, chairman of a task force Obama assigned to study the tax system, has expressed at least tentative support for a VAT.
Doesn't sound to me like they would only go there as a last resort. What do you think? And what would this do to prices? Let's see:
Emanuel argues in his book that a 10 percent VAT would pay for every American not entitled to Medicare or Medicaid to enroll in a health plan with no deductibles and minimal copayments. In his 2008 book, "100 Million Unnecessary Returns," Yale law professor Michael J. Graetz estimates that a VAT of 10 to 14 percent would raise enough money to exempt families earning less than $100,000 -- about 90 percent of households -- from the income tax and would lower rates for everyone else.

And in a paper published last month in the Virginia Tax Review, Burman suggests that a 25 percent VAT could do it all: Pay for health-care reform, balance the federal budget and exempt millions of families from the income tax while slashing the top rate to 25 percent. A gallon of milk would jump from $3.69 to $4.61, and a $5,000 bathroom renovation would suddenly cost $6,250, but the nation's debt would stabilize and everybody could see a doctor.
Well, well, well. Do we really want to pay an additional 10-25 cents on the dollar for every single thing we purchase, from bread to doctor's visits to bus tickets? That's right, that would be on top of the local, city and state taxes we're already paying. BOHICA!

Just between you and me, how fast do you suppose this boat had to be going?
Authorities say someone from Massachusetts suffered life-threatening injuries when a boat flew out of a Maine pond and landed eight feet off the ground in some trees.
There were four people in that boat, gang. That's a lot of weight to launch that high.

Haha! Fooled you!! Phriday Phideaux is actually on Phriday this week!!!

Okay, enough with the exclamation points. Let's have som phun with the phideaux this week, shall we?

And phinally, I'm using this one phor my desktop picture right now:

Don'tcha just wanna hug him or her? I'll be back with more phideaux from ihasahotdog.com next Phriday.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

In a time when all bloggers are writing about North Korea, the real estate meltdown, the auto industry meltdown and attending scandal, and the Supreme Court exchanging one liberal for another, I'm here to bring you the really important news:

In Tokyo, they've solved the problem of not having anything to real in the john. It's now possible to buy toilet paper with a horror story printed on it. I'm not sure this is a great idea. You'd either have to use too much or too little to get "the whole story", so to speak.

More idiocy from the "green" people. The U.K. is considering changing the way people eat by developing menus which cut out actual meat, such as beef or lamb, greenhouse-grown veggies, and alcohol because they produce too much carbon dioxide. Why don't they save everybody a lot of grief and just hold their breath? Indefinitely. Yeah, that'd do it.

Today's moron of the day award should go to this man in Greenwich, who hid behind a turkey decoy and made turkey noises while hunting with his turkey friend, who shot him. Dumb turkey.

And finally, here is another example of the consequences of an Obama health care reform plan. If this nonsense is passed, anyone over 50 who has a chronic illness (myself included) will be forfeit. Treatment won't put them back to work, so give the treatment to someone more productive.

I don't want to end today's entry on a down note, so here is a video of a beagle puppy learning to howl. I look at that then look at my beagle, Bandit, and wonder to myself...did you eat that puppy? There's no way all that fat could be from regular dog food!

Monday, May 25, 2009

In this special Memorial Day edition of Phideaux, let's remember what this day is all about: not swimming parties or parades, all-you-can-eat cookouts or fireworks. Let us honor the fallen men and women who kept this country safe for more than 200 years and counting. God bless them all.

And this one, because it is also for special Phideaux:

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I'm going to do another link dump here. I don't much like doing it this way, but the old man needs to use his computer tonight. Something about his last week of school, Master's Degree, blah blah blah...

You should always be careful when calling the police on your noisy neighbors. It may not be them after all.

Remember the old stories about the snake in the toilet? They're not just stories any more. Along those same lines, I don't even want to know how this kid was cleaning his aquarium.

Be careful driving through the state of Maine. You never know when a moose will fall on your car.

Two stories for you related to "climate change", otherwise known as the weather. First we have a "green" ship, operated by wind and solar power, which had to be rescued by another ship because they couldn't handle Mother Nature. Rubbing salt in the wound, the rescuing ship was an oil tanker. The second story is about the famous Troy solar house, which was built completely off the grid and run exclusively on "green" resources. This 800 square foot house, which they stupidly paid $900,000 to build (!), is still dark seven months later because the heater, which was supposed to keep the water pipes from freezing, drained the battery. The pipes froze and burst, naturally, and it will cost at least $16,000 more to fix them before the house can open. Welcome to the new world! If you don't mind, I'd like to stay in the old one.

One more story today, about Bambi. I wasn't going to do any political stuff for a while, because it was starting to sound like a broken record, but this pissed me off. 100 kindergarten children got the trip of a lifetime, to travel from their school in Virginia to the White House to meet the President. Their bus arrived 10 lousy minutes late, and they were turned away. The President couldn't meet with them, because he had to spend time with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Are you telling me he couldn't make the Steelers wait a couple of minutes to keep from making children cry? How would he feel if this had happened to his daughters? I'm betting not so good.

Enough for now. Enjoy your weekend, but remember what it is really all about.

Yes, I realize it's Caturday, but I've been super busy. So I'm giving you an extra cheesy Phideaux this week. I'll be posting a more appropriate Phideaux for Memorial Day on Monday.

What purdy teef!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Phriday Phideaux this week is dedicated to puppies everywhere. I finally got around to watching Marley and Me this week, and I haven't cried that hard since we lost Bubba, and that was two years ago in August. So I had to see some cute puppies, and so did you.

And finally, who could punish this face? I know I couldn't:

As always, thanks to ihasahotdog.com for the great photos. If you would like me to use one of your dogs in a Phriday Phideaux, just email it to me at monkeedo1956@aol.com and I'll get it done.

Monday, May 11, 2009

What a week we've had here in Hades! The ups and downs, I tell you, we could have made the biggest roller coaster in the world. On the good side, I learned how to caption pictures this week, and tonight I sent my very first text message. ACK! How do you people do that all day long? It's a lot more work than using a computer, folks.

Now to the bad stuff. Those thunderstorms that came through the Ozarks a few days ago did a number around here. The huge barn across the road lost their roof, and one of our huge trees flanking our parking space is now perched precariously above my car, being held up by the other tree. I don't know how we're going to get it down, because the other car parked there isn't ours anymore and the owners won't come get it. If we try to cut the tree down it's gonna land on that car.

Plus, and the thing that really chafes, is our power was out from very early Friday morning to very early Sunday morning. I called the light company right away, and heard they were getting right on it. Now, I'm supposed to be on a list with those idiots because of my oxygen. That concentrator doesn't work very well without electricity, oddly enough. The second time I called them, they still hadn't made note of my medical need, even though it has been in their files since 1991. The third time I called (late Saturday night), the girl who answered the phone said they'd gone home for the night, try back tomorrow. I'm glad they could sleep. My wonderful husband went to town and got me some E-tanks, and my oxygen company called me (!) and made sure I had sufficient backup, making a special trip from Bolivar to deliver more tanks and a conserver so they'd last longer.

I guarantee you, my light bill next month is going to be higher than normal. I almost hope I get a bill for the extra tanks of oxygen. I'm sending any bills I get to the light company. What's the point of having medical information on file if they're not going to use it?

On the bright side, the battery operated lanterns we ordered for such occasions arrived in the mail today. Life is good.

I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. My son texted me; my daughter will remember in a day or so.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Sorry about this, guys, but I've gotta do another link dump. I'm still adjusting to the new school procedures. Team assignments are a lot more complicated online than they are in a physical classroom, especially when you only have a week to complete an assignment.

Do you like tomatoes on sandwiches? I do, but I hate it when the bread gets soggy. Now that may be a thing of the past. Scientists have perfected the non-soggy tomato. Yippee!!

If you ever see a swarm of Mormon crickets headed toward your crops, blast 'em with rock. Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones are quite effective.

Could someone please explain to me why, in the middle of a recession and an outbreak of flu, our supposed national leaders are embroiled in a hearing to do away with BCS rankings? Do your freakin' jobs, people!

A couple in London decided they couldn't wait until they got home and began to have sex on the lawn of Windsor Castle. The Queen was not amused. I do believe alcohol was involved. (duh!)

I guess the State Department doesn't think it's a bad idea for Texas to be considered a foreign country.

Now wasn't that better than swine flu, Obama worship, Michelle's highly overpriced sneakers, etc? Gotta go write a paper now. More later.

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