Day By Day© by Chris Muir.Monday, October 31, 2005
And here are your Dopes of the Day: Two Broward County residents who for some unknown reason decided to check the fuel level on a generator with a lit candle. They're lucky the only thing destroyed was the generator.
Once again, a defenseless little squirrel died by jumping on a power line. The little critter got even, though. He started a grass fire with his charred body. It was put out quickly. This was my favorite part of the entire story:
Burning trash or leaves during the burn ban can catch a hefty fine, but the squirrel that started this fire may have other worries.
Russell said, "I'm a country boy, so I'm thinking dinner time."
Sunday, October 30, 2005
There was a 4.5 magnitude earthquake in Montana and Idaho, which is now the new home for "shake and bake" potatoes. Sorry.
Okay, here's your mystery for this Halloween: The Doppler loop of Hurricane Wilma shows the number two in the center of the eye! Oh Boo! If this is true, it's freaky. If it's a Halloween prank, it's priceless!
This week's Carnival of Recipes is at Everything and Nothing, a most interesting blogname. I wonder what it means...
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Here's another example of the glorious "Religion of Peace" spreading their love among the infidels we call Christians. Excuse me, but this just makes me sick.
Connecticut officials have way, way too much time on their hands:
But I had a problem with other areas of this story.
That's the way I feel about it. How about you?
A constitutional battle is brewing over a holiday beer that state officials are trying to ban because they say its label might entice children to drink.This tells me two things: First, England really has a weird sense of humor when they name their alcoholic beverages; and second, people still think kids will drink anything with a cartoon on it. If that were the case, when are they gonna ban the Scrubbing Bubbles?
The state believes it would be really awful for kids to see the label on the British import Seriously Bad Elf.
It shows a mean-looking elf with a slingshot firing Christmas ornaments at Santa's sleigh as it flies overhead.
But I had a problem with other areas of this story.
At that hearing this week, ACLU attorney Annette Lamoreaux argued that the regulation has serious constitutional flaws.What religion is Santa Claus? C'mon, people. Santa is not a real person. But wait, there's more:
Not only does it violate Shelton's free speech rights, she said, but protecting Santa Claus is a violation of the Constitution's establishment clause, which prohibits government endorsement or disapproval of religion.
But studies have shown children can be affected by alcohol advertising, said George Hacker, the director of the Alcohol Policies Project at the Center for Science in the Public Interest.These are the same wankers who are messing with the fast food industry. They need to re-examine their so-called study. Of course more kids recognized the Budweiser Frogs. When's the last time Tony the Tiger or Smokey Bear (not Smokey the Bear) were on television on a regular basis? They recognize them more often because they see them more often, that's all.
A 1996 study showed that more kids recognized the Budweiser Frogs than Tony the Tiger or Smokey the Bear.
That's the way I feel about it. How about you?
| Halloween Horoscope for Leo |
You simply have to have the most unique, elaborate, and amazing costume. You tend to hop from party to event, making sure everyone checks you out. Costume suggestions: A geisha, samurai, fairy, or pirate Signature Halloween candy: Skittles |
Thank God I didn't get stuck with candy corn. That stuff is NASTY!
Here's another unfortunate case of life imitating art:
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Teen actress Tara Correa-McMullen, who portrayed a former gang member in the TV show "Judging Amy," was shot to death amid gang violence Oct. 21, according to police. She was 16.No one should die that young.
Authorities in Inglewood, a suburb south of Los Angeles, said the actress was shot several times as she stood outside an apartment complex. Two men with her were wounded.
Correa-McMullen's parents, Devora Correa and Thomas McMullen, wrote in the eulogy that was read at her funeral Friday that their daughter made friends with everyone, "whether they were a grip or a caterer."
No suspects have been identified in the shooting, which is believed to be gang-related, police said.
After filming her first movie, "Rebound," which was released this summer, Correa-McMullen won a recurring role on "Judging Amy" as a former gang member named Graciela.
Friday, October 28, 2005
This doesn't surprise me at all. Only in Manhattan would people become frightened because the city smelled too good. I'll never understand how people can live like that. But I guess they'll never understand how you can live without a store every ten feet, or a neighbor so close you can hear them breathing.
Some muggle has stolen Harry Potter's flying car. It had been stored under a tarp at the movie studio, and was in no condition to drive. It will probably turn up in pieces on eBay some day.
All right all you lady geekesses. Those of you who used to drool at the sight of Sulu with his shirt off in the old Star Trek episodes, give it up. George Takei has come out of the closet. Yes girls, he has announced that he's gay and has been in a monogamous relationship for 18 years. Time to find another hunk to lust after.
A woman in Delaware decided to kill herself by hanging from a tree. Nobody noticed. People who saw her hanging there thought she was a Halloween decoration. Of course, if she hadn't been discovered in a day or so, they would have figured it out the hard way.
According to this story, a full 25% of all dogs in the United Kingdom are stressed out. This is disgraceful. Their owners should be flogged. All dogs want is to be loved, not to be stressed out.
If you live in the Midwest, you know one of the sure signs of spring is the annual mushroom hunt. People go out in the woods, searching for the elusive morels, which are absolutely delicious fried. You don't usually find many mushrooms this time of year. So when Ty Whitmore found a huge mushroom outside Maysville, Missouri, he was thrilled. In harvesting the fungus, the top of it broke off and fell in the creek. But the rest of it, when weighed, set a new record of 56 pounds. Yum yum!
Thanks to all who have been praying for my nephew David. He has been released from the hospital now, and seems to be progressing nicely. We don't know yet about his long-term prognosis, except that he will probably never be able to work again. But he's improving daily and I thank you for your prayers.
If you're still in the praying mode, Sir Mugley has a shot at two different jobs next week. Considering how long it's been since he's worked (he's been going to school), this is a wonderful turn of events for us. If he gets either job, it should be enough to get us off the dole, meaning food stamps, etc. He would like to get one job more than the other, because it more fully utilizes his education, but he'll take either one. Please pray he gets offered one of them, and God Willing, it will be the one he wants.
If you're still in the praying mode, Sir Mugley has a shot at two different jobs next week. Considering how long it's been since he's worked (he's been going to school), this is a wonderful turn of events for us. If he gets either job, it should be enough to get us off the dole, meaning food stamps, etc. He would like to get one job more than the other, because it more fully utilizes his education, but he'll take either one. Please pray he gets offered one of them, and God Willing, it will be the one he wants.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Have you seen the new James Bond? Not only does he not look like James Bond, he doesn't even like guns! He'd have to be a good actor to fake liking a gun enough to use it, if he doesn't even want them on the planet. Frankly, in my mind James Bond will always be either Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan. Dark hair, sultry look, sexy sexy sexy, etc. Feel free to voice your opinions.
If ever you travel to Turkey, you don't need to mind your P's and Q's. You need to mind your Q's and W's. After a Kurdish New Year celebration, a Turkish court fined 20 people for using the letters Q and W on their posters. See, back in 1928, Turkey passed the Law on the Adoption and Application of Turkish letters, which changed the Turkish alphabet from an Arabic script to a modified Latin script, and banned using any but the Turkish alphabet on public signs of all kinds. The "new" Turkish alphabet has no Q's or W's. Each person was fined 100 new lira. And no, I don't know how much that is in dollars.
Today would have been my father's 82nd birthday. I still miss him.
Two other notable deaths occurred in the past couple of days. The more recognized was the passing of Rosa Parks, the simple seamstress who galvanized the civil rights movement by retaining her seat on a bus. The other passing was not quite so notable to the world. Elmer "Len" Dresslar, Jr. was a man most people wouldn't recognize on the street. But if he were to put his hands on his hips, tilt his head back and bellow, "HO HO HO!", you'd know him right away. Mr. Dresslar was the voice of the Jolly Green Giant for many decades, periodically re-recording the vocals so they'd be fresh. Perhaps he didn't change the world in the may Miss Parks did, but he definitely secured a place in the hearts of many children. Recently, my sister gave me a Jolly Green Giant telephone, and a JGG penny candy machine, both of which are difficult to obtain. I plan to keep them for a long time.
Enough about death, okay? Let's find some weird stuff in the news.
Two other notable deaths occurred in the past couple of days. The more recognized was the passing of Rosa Parks, the simple seamstress who galvanized the civil rights movement by retaining her seat on a bus. The other passing was not quite so notable to the world. Elmer "Len" Dresslar, Jr. was a man most people wouldn't recognize on the street. But if he were to put his hands on his hips, tilt his head back and bellow, "HO HO HO!", you'd know him right away. Mr. Dresslar was the voice of the Jolly Green Giant for many decades, periodically re-recording the vocals so they'd be fresh. Perhaps he didn't change the world in the may Miss Parks did, but he definitely secured a place in the hearts of many children. Recently, my sister gave me a Jolly Green Giant telephone, and a JGG penny candy machine, both of which are difficult to obtain. I plan to keep them for a long time.
Enough about death, okay? Let's find some weird stuff in the news.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
I'd have to say this story qualifies as a good definition of irony:
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - The author of a new state law that allows felony charges against owners of dangerous dogs was hospitalized over the weekend after his own dog attacked him.A spokesperson said the man is going to be fine. I'm not so sure about his dog, though.
I guess in Australia, death can't even be an excuse for poor parking:
An elderly man who had been dead for several days, slumped over the wheel of his car, was this week issued with a parking fine.I'd hate to be so alone that no one would miss me.
Here's an update to the story I wrote about the student at Arkansas State who wasn't allowed to play basketball unless he wore Adidas shoes:
Adidas said it will not require Arkansas State basketball player Jerry Nichols to wear its shoes, but hopes that he will accept an offer to look through its footwear collection in an attempt to find a suitable product.I think that's a nice gesture, but it's a shame they had to make it.
I guess the Vampire Chronicles, written by Anne Rice, are completed. Anne has "found Christ" (a horrible description in my opinion, since Christ was never lost in the first place), and has written a novel about Christ as a 7 year old. She's planning to write sequels, seeing Christ through his life. She thinks she'll lose her reader base, but I'm not so sure. If they're anything like me, they'll give her a chance. She's an excellent writer, and if she's truly doing this as a Christian, the book should be fascinating. I'll let you know after I've read it.
They've been waiting since 1917. Are they gonna do it this year? It's starting to look that way. Game 2 of the World Series just ended, with Chicago winning 7-6 over Houston. Don't tell anyone I'm rooting for Chicago. They won't get another run if you do. I'm kinda bad luck that way.
The family football pool is killing me this year. Washington scored 52 points today, which really threw me for a loop. Sir Mugley is now ahead by 104 points. Thanks a lot, Redskins! I owe you one.
For some reason I haven't been receiving the notices on the Carnival of Recipes until this week. You can find the current Carnival at Fishtown Chatter, a most intriguing blog name if I've ever heard one. Go on over and check out the recipes. You might just find your next big dinner success!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Congratulations to whoever it was that won the 340 million dollars in Powerball on Wednesday night. Here's hoping you spend it wisely. So many people, when they win a big lot of money, blow it all then wind up in more debt than they were in the first place. I can't imagine winning that much money, actually. I could probably find a way to spend the first million, but after that I wouldn't know what I'd do with it. Anyway, if you are having trouble coming up with ways to spend the money, let me know. I'll help you all I can.
Sally Alice Thompson received a card in the mail, inviting her to join the Marine Corps. Normally this wouldn't be of note, except that Sally Alice Thompson is an 82 year old peace activist who works with the Center for Peace & Justice in Albuquerque and belongs to Veterans for Peace and Raging Grannies. She has also protested with Cindy Sheehan's nutjobs. She plans to visit the recruiting office with some of her Raging Grannies and let them know how she feels about the invitation. I'm sure they'll be thrilled.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Just when you thought you'd heard it all: A man in Oklahoma convicted of a robbery and assault with intent to kill worked out a plea agreement in order to avoid a trial. But instead of the 30 year sentence agreed on, he requested the sentence be extended to 33 years, because Larry Bird wore number 33 on his Celtics jersey. Good grief!
Well, it looks like the end of analog television is in sight.
A U.S. Senate panel on Thursday set an April 7, 2009, deadline for television stations to switch entirely to digital broadcasts, the latest effort to provide certainty to the transition that will free airwaves for wireless companies and emergency responders.For those of us who don't have digital capabilities on our televisions, the end of the tunnel is dark indeed. However, they do plan to make provisions for us poor folk.
The bill also earmarks up to $3 billion to subsidize some of the cost for Americans to buy devices that would convert digital signals so existing analog television sets could still work. The cost of the boxes is expected to be about $50.If you don't purchase a television with digital capabilities, and don't buy the converter, you can always use the television as a plant stand. It won't be good for much else.
A student at Arkansas State University is being barred from playing basketball because he wants to wear the wrong shoes.
Jerry Nichols , a senior basketball player at Arkansas State, has refused to wear the Adidas sneakers the school provides him because he believes they might be partially responsible for the serious knee injury he suffered four years ago.Nichols has offered to cover the logo on the shoes he wants to wear, but that's not good enough for Adidas. So he either doesn't play, or he risks reinjuring his knees by wearing shoes that aren't right for him. This is not a decision a senior in college should be worrying about. He should be concentrating on life after graduation, not sneakers.
Because Arkansas State is contractually obligated to outfit its team with Adidas, Nichols can't practice with the team, much less play games, unless he relents.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I remember in the movie "Crocodile Dundee", my favorite part was when Dundee put the gun in the dead kangaroo's arms and convinced the drunk poachers the roo was shooting back. I've often thought that, even though I've got nothing against hunters, it would be more sporting if the critters could fight back. This article reminded me of that. A hunter in Sweden was knocked unconscious when a goose his son had killed fell on his head. I can just picture that in my mind, and it's hilarious!
A police officer in Norwalk, Connecticut is being sued by a crash victim's family because he took a piece of the victim's skull home, claiming he was going to use it as an ashtray. This sounds like the beginning of a terrific horror story, don't you think?
I'm beginning to wonder if there's any hope for our future. Two teenage girls at a slumber party decided to play "chicken" with an SUV in Hudson, Texas. They laid down in the middle of a dark stretch of highway and were run over by the vehicle. It's a miracle they weren't killed. I one heard that kids lost their brains on their thirteenth birthday. The brain fairy would take the brain and hide it in the mall. That's why kids like to hang out there. They're looking for it. But it's a waste of time, because they won't find it again until they reach 25. If these girls are any example, they may not get it back then.
Two women working at a Walgreens in Florida got into an argument over who was going to microwave their soup first, and one of the women stabbed the other over it. Would it have been so horrible to wait one more minute to use the stupid microwave?
A prisoner in Romania is actually suing God because he had to go to prison for committing a crime. He feels God should have kept him from doing wrong. I guess he forgot that whole "free will" thing, huh?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Hi, y'all. I'm a little under the weather, so I won't be posting tonight. I'll be back tomorrow, ok? Don''t forget me.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Don't forget about the blogger interviews this weekend at Basil's Blog. Yours truly is one of the interviewees this weekend. You might be surprised at some of my answers. Or you might not. If you have any other questions you'd like to ask, feel free to put them in the comments here. I'll try to answer any I get.
There really is a fowl wind blowing in Exeter, Missouri, a town about two counties from me:
Schoolchildren were forced to stay indoors Friday as about 250,000 pounds of chicken meat rotted one block away in a meat locker that had not been operating for weeks.Can you imagine? I've had a single chicken go bad before, and the smell was enough to put you off food for a good long time. The pictures they've been showing on the news have been horrible. The smell is putting area restaurants out of business. And yet, the idiots in charge of setting this situation right have determined they can get it cleaned up in one day. Yeah, right. It will take that long to get the carcasses out. I doubt they'll ever get the smell out of the building. I'm sure it has permeated every board, every ceiling tile. Even living nearby you'd think the odor would be in your clothing, your hair, your car, etc. Ick!
This Algerian man better not go home when he's released:
A man sentenced to nine months house arrest begged a judge to jail him instead because he couldn't stand his wife's nagging.That really took a lot of guts. Either he's really desperate, or he has a death wish.
Four years ago, Etienne Verhees broke his neck, and had to be fitted with a plate in his neck. A few days ago, while suffering from a cold, Mr. Verhees started coughing, and coughed up one of the four screws that was holding the plate in place. Apparently he'll be fine without it. If it were me, I think I'd freak out a little.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Just when you'd thought you'd read it all: The inventor of a meat-scented doggie condom is sad because they've been recalled. Go read it; you'll enjoy the laughs.
You never know what you'll find when you break into a house, so you really should be prepared.
A Dutch burglar phoned police after fleeing in panic when he found the corpse of an 89-year-old woman in a house he broke into in The Hague.Maybe he'll give up that line of work now.
This is just sad. A man in Bridgeport, Connecticut, was arrested Sunday when the police found him in the Bridge Academy charter school downloading pornography dressed only in his underwear.
A duffel bag, clothing and a wallet containing Hoskins' ID, were found on the floor nearby, along with a bucket of urine, police said.But the strangest part is his reason for being there:
Police said Hoskins told them he went into the school to use the bathroom.Yeah, right. He shoulda spent some of that time in school learning to come up with better excuses.
I don't know about you, but I'm very concerned about the rash of bombs being found at our nation's colleges. We had the explosion in Oklahoma which killed the bombmaker outside the football stadium. Now there's word of three explosive devices found at Georgia Tech University, and another device found at the UCLA campus. Do you think these incidents are connected?
The National Hurricane Center has admitted they are down to their last name for this season: Wilma. I have intimate knowledge of the type of creature a Wilma would be, as that is my true first name. We really don't want a Hurricane Wilma; that would be one seriously twisted storm.
Northwestern College, a small Christian college in Roseville, Minnesota, has gotten a lot of tongues wagging by playing a football double-header last Saturday. And, believe it or not, they won both games. Way to go, guys!
If you're looking for a story just chock full of irony, try this one:
An Australian man who works for a company that makes road signs warning motorists of kangaroos has been involved in a motorbike accident - with a kangaroo.Of course, his friends are never gonna let him live this one down.
Attention all illegal aliens: Try to avoid Yuma County for your own safety. The sheriff has acquired a surplus British military armored personnel carrier to patrol the border. And I'll bet he knows how to use it. For your own safety, stay home!
For those of you who have been praying, my nephew is still in critical condition in Intensive Care. They haven't been able to take him off the ventilator, and he has developed a viral infection and pneumonia. The doctors say if he does recover, he'll never be able to work again, not even around his house. He's only 52 years old, so that will be hard for him. I thank all of you who have been praying, and ask that you continue your prayers for him, and for my sister and brother-in-law, who are driving 100 miles every day to be there for him.
You're not even safe mowing your yard anymore. A 73 year old man was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief after he rammed a man mowing his yard with his own riding mower. The other man was knocked off his mower, and the police were contacted when the rammer tried to take the other mower back to his house.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
By now I'm sure most everyone has seen the "spinners" that people are putting on their cars. The fancy spinning wheels that rotate independently of the tires are frequently the target of car thieves, which makes me wonder if they're worth it. However, now there's a new accessory for your car which goes along with the spinners. Now you can put a spinner on your exhaust pipe. I'm not sure how easily it would be seen, but I'm sure kids are gonna want them. After all, they need all the status symbols they can get, right?
Finally, Toyota has created the first dog-friendly car. This concept car has a lot of great features:
The vehicles will have a number of features to allow dogs to travel in style, including a glove box that converts into a kennel for smaller breeds and built-in water bowls similar to cupholders.Of course, this car isn't on the market yet, but they are coming out with accessories for their current line-up:
The model, called the Wow (as in bow-wow), will be unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show later this month. It is designed to have six seats in three rows; the middle row converting into pens to hold dogs too large for the glove-box kennel. The floor is covered with wood, rather than carpet, to make cleaning up easier. The rear door has a compartment that is designed to keep accessories such as leads, brushes and a pooper-scooper.
These will include built-in water bowls, front and rear seat harnesses, electric blankets and special blankets to mask the odour of smelly dogs. They will come in four scents: grass, forest, farmyard or beach.At least someone cares about us dog lovers.
At the risk of starting a theme this evening, I have another story about balls, but this time it's scientific. Scientists have created a way to differentiate between male and female mosquitos: they have genetically modified them so that the males have fluorescent testicles. Freaky.
I've heard of people throwing themselves into their work, but this beats all. A man in Cologne, Germany decided he was a piece of art, so he stripped off his clothing and climbed up on a table and posed. He was still standing there when the police arrived. They were not amused.
Here's the ultimate in empowering jewelry: Ballsies. For the man (or woman) who needs a little extra oomph.
If you're looking for inspiration when it comes to pumpkin carving, check out these fine examples of jack-o-lanterns.
I got my questions from Basil tonight. You guys are tricky; some of these are gonna be hard to answer. But he wanted a picture to post with my answers, so I thought I'd go with a picture of what I wished I looked like:
What did you expect, the Seahag from the Popeye cartoons?
What did you expect, the Seahag from the Popeye cartoons?
For those of you who pray, I'm requesting prayer today for my nephew David. He had a massive heart attack, and I'm not sure he's gonna make it without the prayers. He's in a hospital in North Kansas City, and my sister and brother-in-law are with him. Thanks in advance for your help.
Darlington, South Carolina is not only known for their great racetrack. Now they're known for their "naked burglar". A naked man was found hanging from the ceiling of a cash advance business.
A naked man with scrapes all over his body then dropped from the ceiling and tried to open the front door and leave, according to a police report.Excuse me while I laugh my butt off.
"He had a charming story to go along with it though. He said somebody threw his keys on the roof and that's why he was up there," Watson said. "He kind of got a little fuzzy on the 'taking all his clothes off and sliding in the store' part."
As if the people on this planet needed more excuses to obsess about sex, London is building a sexual theme park, ostensibly to teach visitors to become better lovers and educate them on diseases and other sexual problems. Let's just hope there's an age limit.
Yeah, that's me all right!
| Gummy Bears |
 You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute. |
Did you know the Mall of America has a new store that provides a place to take a nap? It's called the Nap Shop. It's a little expensive, but when you're shopping in a place with over 500 stores, it would probably be worth it.
It's been a while, but there's a new Carnival of Recipes over at The Glittering Eye. Get 'em while they last!
IT'S A CLEAN SWEEP!Friday, October 07, 2005
Just to keep everybody updated, I went today for my final post-op exam. I was fitted for bifocals (gasp!). I told him I didn't want bifocals, that he should just give me some reading glasses. He didn't agree with me, so I'm getting some glasses they expect me to wear all the time. I might, or might not. Then I got to pick out my frames. That was a laugh. There is a limited selection when you are getting your glasses through medicare. I could have thick, black plastic frames, pink wire frames, or silver wire frames. Guess which one I chose. I would have preferred gold or copper color, mainly because I look better with those colors, but like I said, there was a limited selection. Anyway, I'm getting them next week. I'm going to keep the cheap reading glasses I bought at the store, just in case something happens to the new ones. I should have taken them and had the new lenses put in them. I know... shut up. I realize I'm being pathetic. I'm just feeling a little witchy these days. Now that I can see again, I'm appalled at the amount of gray in my hair. I have few wrinkles, but my hands look old. I've got to start taking care of myself I guess.
A two-year-old boy owes his life to some coyotes. After he disappeared from his home in Wentzville, MO, searchers scoured the woods for Tristan Owens to no avail. As the searchers were about to leave, they heard coyotes howling to one another, like they do when announcing a meal find. The searchers followed the sound straight to the little boy, who was scratched but otherwise fine. The coyotes, on the other hand, went without a meal, unless they found a rabbit or two.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
It's funny, because I have thought about blue highlights. Can you be too old for that?
| Your Hair Should Be Blue |
 Wild, brilliant, and out of control. You're a risk taker with an eye to the future. |
Two down, one to go. Woo Hoo!!
Received via e-mail:
The mayor of New Orleans was asked about his position on Roe Vs Wade.Thanks, sissy dawg.
He said he didn't really care how people got out of the city.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Ray Nagin has now announced the layoff of 3,000 employees since the city can't afford to pay them. The part of the story that really gets me is this:
Nagin announced with "great sadness" that he had been unable to find the money to keep the workers on the payroll.Non-essential workers? 3,000 employees constitutes half the employees of the city! If they were truly "non-essential", why were they on the payroll in the first place? If you want a completely non-essential person to can, how about the mayor?
He said only non-essential workers will be laid off and that no firefighters or police will be among those let go.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Here's some really great news: Stevie Wonder may be getting his sight back. There's an experimental program through which he could regain the sight he lost as a child. That would be glorious!
Taiwan has recently been hit by an earthquake, which is bad enough. Then they got slammed by a typhoon. All horrible, right? So why is it so hard not to laugh when I read that the typhoon was named Longwang? What an unfortunate name. I'm sure you can think up all kinds of newspaper headlines that would fit the situation.
Why do celebrities think they have to destroy their children's lives by giving them insane names? Now it's Nicholas Cage's turn. He and his new bride have named their brand new baby boy Kal-El Coppola Cage. Why would you name a precious, innocent child after Superman? I just don't get it. The poor kid's gonna get the living crap beat out of him, just to prove he's not Superman after all.
Another great comedian has passed away. Nipsey Russell died at the age of 80. I'm gonna miss his poetry. He was a genius.
The courthouse in Berryville, Arkansas had to be evacuated when a bone-headed lawyer tried to admit fireworks into evidence, triggering an explosives alert.
Sheriff Chuck Medford said a member of the Springdale bomb squad happened to be in the courtroom. The officer viewed the device and ordered an evacuation. Subsequently, the entire Springdale bomb squad was called to detonate the possible explosive object.They're trying to decide whether to charge the lawyer with a crime. I guess you can't prosecute someone for being stupid.
Medford said the device did not explode, and it appeared to be what he calls a "conventional explosive device."
Alaska Airlines has turned one of their jets into a giant flying salmon. The jet, lovingly named the "salmon-forty-salmon" (isn't that cute?) received a very expensive paint job, putting a giant salmon on the side of the plane. The promotional paint job was financed by a non-profit agency, the Alaska Fisheries Marketing Board, to the tune of $500,000. That's all fine and dandy, but here's the kicker:
The money came out of about $29 million in federal funding U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska and his congressional colleagues have appropriated to the marketing board, created in 2003, to promote and enhance the value of Alaska seafood. The senator's son, state Sen. Ben Stevens, is chairman of the agency's board of directors.Frankly, I don't think the federal government should be paying for a paint job on a jet. I don't see them painting my car, and it could use it.
President Bush nominated Harriet Miers as the next Justice of the Supreme Court. Okay. Let's look at this for a minute. Bear with me now.
People are screaming about his choice. She's pro-life, she's a Christian, she used to be a Democrat, she has no experience as a judge. All true. But are they missing the big picture?
What if, what if, the President is doing it again. Several times in the past he has wowed his critics by pulling his fat out of the fire by making a brilliant save. Is this another case?
Perhaps Miss Miers was nominated precisely because she couldn't be confirmed? Think about it for a minute. The Democrats were itching for a confirmation fight, right? They've got it with this choice. Perhaps the President is planning for her defeat, so he can bring in the real nominee. Would the Democrats risk looking stupid by not confirming two in a row? I'm not sure. But it is an interesting scenario, don't you think?
People are screaming about his choice. She's pro-life, she's a Christian, she used to be a Democrat, she has no experience as a judge. All true. But are they missing the big picture?
What if, what if, the President is doing it again. Several times in the past he has wowed his critics by pulling his fat out of the fire by making a brilliant save. Is this another case?
Perhaps Miss Miers was nominated precisely because she couldn't be confirmed? Think about it for a minute. The Democrats were itching for a confirmation fight, right? They've got it with this choice. Perhaps the President is planning for her defeat, so he can bring in the real nominee. Would the Democrats risk looking stupid by not confirming two in a row? I'm not sure. But it is an interesting scenario, don't you think?
Sunday, October 02, 2005
This is just sick. O.J. Simpson signing autographs at a horror convention? Has he no sense of decency at all?
I would really appreciate any prayers y'all could send up for my son. It seems he went outside for a cigarette last night, and somebody decided to use him for a punching bag. He was hit in the head with a pipe, and they kicked him in the ribs. He wasn't robbed, so I'm not sure what the motive was. He wasn't bad enough to stay in the hospital, but he's bad enough that dealing with three small boys is gonna hurt. Anyway, if you would pray for him, I'd be grateful.
Philadelphia continues its cursed luck this week, scoring 37 points, thus killing my hopes for getting caught up in the family football pool. Sir Mugley is now ahead by 89 points. I shoulda picked better teams.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
And now, for your Halloween entertainment, we present How to Carve A Pumpkin. Have fun!
I'm sure you all remember Constantine Maroulis from American Idol, right? Well, believe it or not, ABC is developing a sitcom for him. His fans are gonna love it, no matter how much it stinks, and the folks who hated him aren't gonna watch. I'll give it a shot, even though the sitcoms these days aren't worth the paper the scripts are written on.
Have they stopped teaching firearms marksmanship in the police academies around the country? Here's another example of poor marksmanship: In Manhattan, police had a shootout with a bad guy. The police fired 77 shots and only wounded the guy! I think I could do better than that.
If you didn't already know it's almost Halloween, Anheuser-Busch will help you out. They've come out with a pumpkin-flavored beer, the first in a line of seasonal beers they're working on. Not being a beer lover myself, I won't be trying it. If you're brave enough, let me know if it still tastes like beer. I'm just curious.
For a long time, I've railed against the cookie cutter cars on the road today. I was thrilled when the PT Cruiser came out, and the Chevy SSR, because they were different. You could look at them and know immediately what kind of vehicle you were looking at. But I think I'd have to draw the line at a car that looked like an egg, and had no reverse gear. That's how I describe the new Nissan Pivo. What do you think?
Some people really don't like mowing their lawns. If you know someone like that, and I do, it's not always a good idea to force the issue. You might just get more than you asked for.
