Day By Day© by Chris Muir.Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Got this in an email from my sister:
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYERThanks sis!
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
I've been thinking about something for a while now, and am looking for input. When a person serves in their state legislature, they draw a pension upon leaving. Many of those people go on to serve on the national level. Yet while they are doing so, they still get that pension from their home state. Then when they leave Congress, they get a pension there as well. Why not pass state laws to discontinue the state pension when the national pension kicks in? It would save the states a lot of money in the long run. Any ideas?
Isn't this baby adorable? I love dogs that can smile, don't you? I got his picture in an email from somebody, but I can't remember who in my family sent it.
Three hours ago, I finished this class in Business Information Systems. Thank God! It was quite a strain, let me tell you. I've got a week off, then I start five weeks of Organizational Ethics and Personal Responsibility, a class that no doubt our entire leadership in D.C. would benefit in taking. Anyway, I've got a week with no personal responsibility regarding school, so I'm gonna enjoy it.
Friday, June 26, 2009
First of all, welcome to any and all new visitors! Please come back soon. You never know when I'll put something on here.
There won't be a Phriday Phideaux this week, gang. It's phinals week and I have too much homework to do. But I didn't want to leave you with nothing to think about all weekend:
There won't be a Phriday Phideaux this week, gang. It's phinals week and I have too much homework to do. But I didn't want to leave you with nothing to think about all weekend:
Mary Bono MackIf any of these so-called Republicans represent your district, keep one thing in mind: these are the people who voted in favor of the Cap and Trade Energy Bill in the House of Representatives today. If not for their votes, it would have failed. It passed 219-212. If it gets through the Senate and signed by Bambi, you can look forward to a much higher power bill, gasoline bill, food bill, etc. It is estimated that the average household electric bill will go up around $700 a year. I don't know about you, but for me that's way too much. Show 'em some love, people. They've earned it.
Mike Castle
Mark Kirk
Leonard Lance
Frank LoBiondo
John McHugh
Dave Reichert
Chris Smith
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
They must really grow the stupid up in Massachusetts. Barney Frank is at it again. He is pressuring Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to lower their qualifications for new home loans. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that what caused the problem in the first place??
A little family news here: There's a very good chance one of my kids will be home in a couple of weeks. Seems Illinois is getting a little too pricey and work a lot too scarce. If you don't mind, keep them in your prayers, as they've got a tough road ahead moving in with me. And they know it. And don't mind.
Did y'all enjoy the scripted press conference today? I'm sure you ladies (or gents) who watch the soaps really appreciated it, especially since he didn't say anything important. Yeah, he blathered about Iran a little bit, but who can listen to a hypocrite who claims he cares, yet invites the thugocratic leadership to an Independence Day cookout? And now his team claims his speech in Cairo was the inspiration for the protests?? Give me a break. Look, you cannot have it both ways. Either support the protestors, who by the way were the only Middle Eastern group other than Israel who held candlelight vigils on 9/11, or support the Mullahs and all they believe in. Staying in the middle of the road doesn't work for possums, and it sure won't work for politicians. Be a man, cancel the cookout invitations, and speak out, really speak out, in support of these kids who just want what we once had: freedom.
By the way, did you know the thugs are demanding the families of the dead hand over a bullet fee if they want their loved one returned to them? This is just making me sick.
By the way, did you know the thugs are demanding the families of the dead hand over a bullet fee if they want their loved one returned to them? This is just making me sick.
Here are a few news items from across the pond for your perusal:
Remember the idiot girl who got the stars tattooed on her face? I knew she was lying. She blamed the tattoo guy because her dad threw a fit, and rightly so. Removing those tattoos is going to leave scars.
Do you remember "I before E except after C"? Well, if you live in England, you might as well forget the whole thing, because it's too difficult a concept to remember.
And in Scotland, if your dog poops and you don't clean it up, don't worry. They'll just spray paint it pink so you can see it on your next trip.
Remember the idiot girl who got the stars tattooed on her face? I knew she was lying. She blamed the tattoo guy because her dad threw a fit, and rightly so. Removing those tattoos is going to leave scars.
Do you remember "I before E except after C"? Well, if you live in England, you might as well forget the whole thing, because it's too difficult a concept to remember.
And in Scotland, if your dog poops and you don't clean it up, don't worry. They'll just spray paint it pink so you can see it on your next trip.
Monday, June 22, 2009
You really gotta admire Michele Bachmann, Republican Representative from Minnesota. She has determined that, according to the Constitution, the only information one needs to supply census takers is the number of people in the home. That's it. Since ACORN, that viper's nest of fraud, will be heavily involved in taking the census next year, there's no telling what they will try to do with any and all information they gather.
Just wow! You thought people with cell phones in the theater were hated before:
Former Wimbledon champion Maria Sharapova presented a prototype dress to reporters that is designed to light up when the wearer's mobile telephone rings.Another good reason to stay home and watch DVDs.
Why hasn't California fallen off the country yet? Sometimes I get the impression they are all just too stupid to live. Now they've come up with a plan to save billions of dollars... just pay the parents to stay home and take care of their own kids. Good grief. I wish someone had let me stay home with mine, but I had to work and hire a sitter. Nobody said it was easy, but anything worth having is worth working for.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Life feels very surreal today. Young people are dying by the minute in Iran (hence the color in support of those real freedom fighters), democratic countries around the world are proclaiming their outrage at the slaughter of these young people, and in Washington, D.C., they are having barbeques and allowing people to go skateboarding through the White House. What's the matter with these people? Sure, family is important and celebrating Father's Day with your children is a glorious thing. I'm sure the people in Iran would love to be doing that as well. But their children are being murdered in the streets. There are videos of it all over YouTube, and Twitter is practically smoking with the news coming from that courageous group of people. Could the people currently in charge in THIS country at least let them know we're on the side of freedom, and not just waiting to see who wins?
Can we at least take a couple of moments today and pray for these young people who want nothing more than to be able to do the same things we take for granted? Perhaps send your Congresscritter a note letting them know you support freedom and they are supposed to be representing you.
Can we at least take a couple of moments today and pray for these young people who want nothing more than to be able to do the same things we take for granted? Perhaps send your Congresscritter a note letting them know you support freedom and they are supposed to be representing you.
Friday, June 19, 2009
All right, this week we're going with a warm and phuzzy version of Phriday Phideaux. Just the thing after a week of garbage flowing from D.C. Stand by for the cute:
As usual, thanks to ihasahotdog.com for the great photos. Again, if you want your phideaux to be included, send me an email and we'll get it done.
As usual, thanks to ihasahotdog.com for the great photos. Again, if you want your phideaux to be included, send me an email and we'll get it done.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I guess we need to change the name of the country to Czaristan. Bambi has now appointed 28 czars, who are accountable to no one but Bambi. No congressional oversight, no elections. How much more, people? When is enough, enough?
Now let's look at some crime news:
Apparently the people in Gary, Indiana care nothing for their fellow human beings. A convenience store clerk was murdered, and the customers kept right on shopping, not even checking to see if he was alive or dead. But this is the part that really got to me:
Over in England, they've begun selling anti-stab knives, thinking it will "cut down" on stabbing deaths (sorry about that pun). Are they serious? Isn't an anti-stab knife really just a handle? Besides, if you're gonna use a knife, you don't stab at people, you slash at them. Are they gonna make the edge dull, too?
Of course, they're not alone. America has to get in on the act as well:
Apparently the people in Gary, Indiana care nothing for their fellow human beings. A convenience store clerk was murdered, and the customers kept right on shopping, not even checking to see if he was alive or dead. But this is the part that really got to me:
At a news conference on Wednesday, community organizers demanded Gary police offer a reward for information about the case. They said the people of Gary needed financial incentive to come forward.How callous can you be?
Over in England, they've begun selling anti-stab knives, thinking it will "cut down" on stabbing deaths (sorry about that pun). Are they serious? Isn't an anti-stab knife really just a handle? Besides, if you're gonna use a knife, you don't stab at people, you slash at them. Are they gonna make the edge dull, too?
Of course, they're not alone. America has to get in on the act as well:
U.S. Customs & Border Protection (CBP) on May 21st proposed revoking earlier rulings that assisted opening knives are not switchblades. The proposed new rule would not only outlaw assisted opening knives, its new broad definition of a switchblade could also include one-handed opening knives and could be easily interpreted to cover most other pocket knives, even simple old-fashioned slip-joints.Isn't that precious? A pocket knife could constitute a crime. But it gets worse:
Many states do not themselves define switchblades and simply rely on the federal definition and interpretation, which is only found in rulings by CBP. Since interstate commerce in switchblades is prohibited, except under very limited conditions, simply driving across a state line with a pocket knife in their possession would make someone a federal felon.Wonderful.
Here are three sorta related stories for you:
First we go to Chicago, home of the Annenberg Challenge, where 60% of eighth-graders failed to graduate. Naturally everyone is busy blaming everyone else for the failure.
Then we go to Belgium, where an 18 year old girl claims she fell asleep during a tattoo session and woke up to 56 stars on her face. Yeah, right. I will never believe she fell asleep while somebody did that to her face.
Finally, we have some kids who actually did graduate. Of course, something had to go wrong. One boy blew a kiss to his mom, and was denied his diploma. Heaven forbid he show appreciation to his parents for guiding him to graduation.
Priorities, people!
First we go to Chicago, home of the Annenberg Challenge, where 60% of eighth-graders failed to graduate. Naturally everyone is busy blaming everyone else for the failure.
Then we go to Belgium, where an 18 year old girl claims she fell asleep during a tattoo session and woke up to 56 stars on her face. Yeah, right. I will never believe she fell asleep while somebody did that to her face.
Finally, we have some kids who actually did graduate. Of course, something had to go wrong. One boy blew a kiss to his mom, and was denied his diploma. Heaven forbid he show appreciation to his parents for guiding him to graduation.
Priorities, people!
Okay, guys. If you're suffering from carpal tunnel from surfing the web, here is your solution. Of course, they could lead to a different reason for carpal tunnel syndrome, but that's your call.
According to this article, North Korea may be planning to attack Hawaii on the Fourth of July. Sir Mugley and I were talking about this, trying to decide what Kim's plan may be. His missile has a range of 4,000 miles, but Hawaii is 4,500 miles away. So why fire at Hawaii? The only thing I can think of is that it's possibly a diversion. From what? Maybe Iran. They've also been working on missiles and nuclear capability. Suppose Korea is trying to distract the U.S. so Iran can complete their plans for Israel. What would Bambi do? Who would he apologize to this time? Your guess is as good as mine, or better. But I have a feeling whatever it is he does, we won't like it.
They once said that a black man would be President when pigs flew.
His first 100 days and — wham!! Pig's flu!
His first 100 days and — wham!! Pig's flu!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I wanted to take a moment and tell my granddaughter how much I love and miss her. Delia Marie was born June 13, 1996. I was there. I saw her before her mother did. I cry for that child. Her father has isolated her from our side of the family. I've seen her once in the past year and a half. My firstborn grandchild is a teenager now, a concept hard to believe because she's still my baby girl. She is not allowed to call (they refuse to install a phone), and the phone her mother gave her is always (conveniently) turned off when she tries to call. She isn't allowed to write, and my daughter is going to have to go to court AGAIN!! to get visitation because that prick isn't allowing that either. Sorry.
Happy Birthday, DeeDee. Grandma loves you.
Happy Birthday, DeeDee. Grandma loves you.
Some people just aren't appreciated. Here's a bright, 15 year old computer whiz, doing what he does best, and gets busted for it. Of course, I'd love to have seen the teachers' faces when they couldn't post grades on their computer systems.
For those of you who are Battlestar Galactica fans, good news. Starbuck is coming to 24 next season. Not having cable, I haven't seen the new BSG, but the original was awesome.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Okay, it's still Phriday somewhere. I know I'm late. Sue me.
Today we'll be looking at the Phideaux Crime News. First, there has been a rash of disappearances lately. An investigation is underway.
Officers arrived at a home in an area suburb to take a complaint from a law-abiding member of the canine community.
A quick investigation uncovered the culprit in the adjoining apartment.
Hopefully, there will be nothing to keep the Phideaux off the air next Phriday. In other words, I'll try to do better.
Today we'll be looking at the Phideaux Crime News. First, there has been a rash of disappearances lately. An investigation is underway.
Officers arrived at a home in an area suburb to take a complaint from a law-abiding member of the canine community.
A quick investigation uncovered the culprit in the adjoining apartment.
Hopefully, there will be nothing to keep the Phideaux off the air next Phriday. In other words, I'll try to do better.
Well, isn't this convenient? Monster taxes on health care not kicking in until 2013.
You ever have one of those moments when you find out the same actor played two roles so very different you would never have thought the same guy did it? That happened to me, when I learned that actor Ray Park, who played Toad in the X Men, also played Darth Maul in Star Wars. Never woulda figgered it.
Here's a new kid on the block, Crusty Old Grouch. Check him out and say welcome. Anyone who talks about grizzlies with umbrellas can't be all bad.
We have crossed into Bizarro-World now, people. I believe I have truly lost my mind. First, the National Organization for Women put Mr. Sleaze, David Letterman, on their Media Hall of Shame. Congrats to them for doing the right thing.
Just when I started to recover from having them on my side of an issue, I read an article by Bill Maher, a man who is just about as sleazy as the other one, telling Obama to stay off the television and get some work done, like George W. Bush did. Of course, the details are all wrong, but these two general ideas are right.
Maybe I'm having a stroke?
Just when I started to recover from having them on my side of an issue, I read an article by Bill Maher, a man who is just about as sleazy as the other one, telling Obama to stay off the television and get some work done, like George W. Bush did. Of course, the details are all wrong, but these two general ideas are right.
Maybe I'm having a stroke?
David Letterman is a jackass. Not only did he make a statement (he called it a joke) about Willow Palin getting "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez, in his so-called apology he claims he meant her sister, Bristol. So it's funny if you're talking about a slightly older teenager? Not even close. CBS should fire his pathetic personage and give the time to Craig Ferguson. At least he's funny. Letterman hasn't been since he lost out on the Tonight Show gig. I'll admit I watched him when I was a teenager and his jokes were new. I rarely watched past the Top Ten, unless he had a good musical act on. But he just got more and more bitter. You'd think getting married would have mellowed him out a little, but no. I do admire Todd, however, for having more restraint than I would have. Letterman should have a broken nose by now, at least.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
"I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear."Could someone please send him a copy of his job description? That is not what they hired him to do.
Barack Hussein Obama
June 4, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
June 6, 1944
Enough said.
Enough said.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Okay, it's been too gloomy around the webs this week. Let's have some phun! It's time phor Phriday Phideaux!!
Now tell me that didn't at least make you smile. As usual, thanks go to ihasahotdog.com for the photos of our phideaux (or should that be photeaux?).
Now tell me that didn't at least make you smile. As usual, thanks go to ihasahotdog.com for the photos of our phideaux (or should that be photeaux?).
Remember when I told y'all about the tree hovering over my car? Thought you might like to see it.
For the record, I didn't take the picture, so don't blame me coz it's blurry. The red car on the right is not ours anymore and we don't have the keys to move it. My battery is deader than King George so I can't move it either. But don't worry. I'll have a new battery before Mugley goes to San Antonio. I'll not be trapped here with no transportation.
For the record, I didn't take the picture, so don't blame me coz it's blurry. The red car on the right is not ours anymore and we don't have the keys to move it. My battery is deader than King George so I can't move it either. But don't worry. I'll have a new battery before Mugley goes to San Antonio. I'll not be trapped here with no transportation.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I just wanted to take a moment to introduce the newest member of our family:
Her name is Zoe. Isn't she beautiful? My loving Sir Mugley brought her to me, along with some pink roses yesterday. Strangely enough, she feels better in my right hand, even though I'm a leftie. I just had to show her off.
I really have mixed feelings about this. I've always been the State Department of my family, yet I felt compelled to purchase a gun. I don't like the fact that I felt a need for a firearm, yet I do feel more secure having it here beside me. I've got to get more ammo, though. One box of 9mm isn't going to be enough to get proficient.
Her name is Zoe. Isn't she beautiful? My loving Sir Mugley brought her to me, along with some pink roses yesterday. Strangely enough, she feels better in my right hand, even though I'm a leftie. I just had to show her off.
I really have mixed feelings about this. I've always been the State Department of my family, yet I felt compelled to purchase a gun. I don't like the fact that I felt a need for a firearm, yet I do feel more secure having it here beside me. I've got to get more ammo, though. One box of 9mm isn't going to be enough to get proficient.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Here is the solution to our oil shortage/dependency on OPEC problem. It's a pity we'll never be permitted to take advantage of it.
I'm not going to say much about the Tiller murder. It was wrong to kill him; it was wrong for him to kill those babies. Wrong is wrong. I will make a couple of observations, though:
First, just because Tiller's murderer made comments on a pro-life website doesn't make him pro-life anymore than making a comment on a liberal website (which I have done)would make me a liberal.
Lastly, why is it this self-professed pro-life murderer causes all Christians and true pro-life advocates to get lumped into one psychotic group, but the killer of two military recruits in Arkansas, who is Muslim, is an abberration and is no call for all Muslims to be lumped together as murderers?
That's all I'm asking.
First, just because Tiller's murderer made comments on a pro-life website doesn't make him pro-life anymore than making a comment on a liberal website (which I have done)would make me a liberal.
Lastly, why is it this self-professed pro-life murderer causes all Christians and true pro-life advocates to get lumped into one psychotic group, but the killer of two military recruits in Arkansas, who is Muslim, is an abberration and is no call for all Muslims to be lumped together as murderers?
That's all I'm asking.
