Grandma's House

Wow, I completely missed my third blogiversary. The 25th was three years I've been hassling you poor people. Not everyday, mind you. But if you knew me, you'd know I've usually given up a project by now. But the occasional "good job" keeps me going. Thanks for those, by the way. If you want to see any particular subject covered, let me know. School starts up again on Monday, but I'll try to post at least once a week so you'll know I'm not dead.

Okay, peeps, I've saved the best story for last. In Japan, there's a really baaad problem...thousands of people have been fleeced:

Thousands of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles.

I swear I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt. Oh, and it gets better:

The scam was uncovered when Japanese moviestar Maiko Kawamaki went on a talk-show and wondered why her new pet would not bark or eat dog food.

Ow, ow, ow.

One couple said they became suspicious when they took their "dog" to have its claws trimmed and were told it had hooves.

Oh, make it stop. I guess the scammers were bleating those poor people dry. Ahem. Sorry about that.

Mutton, anyone?

A giant in the music industry has passed away. Bobby "Monster Mash" Pickett has died.

This story is just pathetic.

If Gov. Ted Kulongoski seems a little sluggish this week, he's got an excuse: he couldn't afford coffee.

In fact, the Democratic governor couldn't afford much of anything during a trip to a Salem-area grocery store on Tuesday, where he had exactly $21 to buy a week's worth of food — the same amount that the state's average food stamp recipient spends weekly on groceries.

All he has proven by this stunt is that he has no idea how the poor people have to live. What moron thinks he can buy organic food on less than $100 a month? If he really wants to make a statement, let him live on foodstamps for a full month. Then he'll get a small glimpse into what it takes to survive. And don't think for one minute I believe he's not getting a little outside help with his "effort".

Just for the record, I don't think a Republican governor would have done any better. By the time they get to Governor level, they've forgotten how to live cheaply.

That's me, all right. A true classic!

You Are a Hot Fudge Sundae

Classic, simple, and divine. Why mess with perfection?

You know, you just never know what kind of craziness you're gonna find when you're reading a "regular" news article, but this does kind of explain why we are having so much trouble relating to the maniacs of al-Qaeda:

American commanders cite al-Qaida's severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.

I also would like someone to decide once and for all how we should all spell al-Qaeda!

Here's a quick tip for all you guys who are stupid enough to want to rob a bank: if you actually do go through with it, do not leave a receipt behind from when you bought your AK-47. It's a pretty good bet the police will track you down.

For those of you who watch 24, here's a spoiler that isn't really a spoiler, from BuddyTV:

The final exchange in season six comes after whatever threat Jack Bauer faces by that point has been dealt with. Jack is somewhere outside when a car drives up to him. Inside is a surprising person. Who? We don't know! From the looks of things, the 24 creative team doesn't even know at this point. Its all a big surprise! Whoever it is, we can be assured by the conversation that takes place that it is going to be somebody we would never expect. Without further ado, here it is:

Person TBD: Get in, Jack. There's a lot I have to tell you.

Jack, still struggling to get past the shock of who he's seeing, climbs in the passenger side as Person TBD gets behind the wheel. As the car peels out, we... FADE OUT

Everybody who's read this has tried to figure out who it could be in the car. Relax, folks. I've got the scoop right here. It is...............the COUGAR!!!

I guess this article would come under the heading "Oh, Come On!":

A fruity cocktail may not only be fun to drink but may count as health food, U.S. and Thai researchers said on Thursday.

Like anyone needs another reason to drink. This was my favorite part of the story:

The study did not address whether adding a little cocktail umbrella enhanced the effects.

The Supreme Court has finally decided that partial birth abortion is not a constitutional right, nor is it a necessary procedure...ever. It's about time.

Kucinich strikes again! When I first read about the proposed cabinet-level Department of Peace and Nonviolence I thought it was funny. Now I'm not so sure. After reading the bill, I think this could be very dangerous. What do you think?

Woo Hoo!! School is out and I'm on Spring Break!!! No Classes For A Week!!

(can you tell I'm happy?)

A woman in Florida was arrested for shoplifting, but said it couldn't be helped. She blamed her shoplifting on irritable bowel syndrome. Okay.

Just a few notes to update the Virginia Tech story:

The gunman was from South Korea, not China as some reporters were so quick to jump. Why can't people wait for the truth instead of rushing to beat everybody else with a rumor? He was a student, a senior in fact. If they had locked down the campus, they would have locked him in with other students. That wouldn't have helped at all; it may have even made things worse.

Enough of that. I want to introduce you to a real hero from yesterday... Professor Liviu Librescu. From Best of the Web:

Professor Liviu Librescu, 76, threw himself in front of the shooter when the [murderer] attempted to enter his classroom. The Israeli mechanics and engineering lecturer was shot to death, "but all the students lived--because of him," Virginia Tech student Asael Arad--also an Israeli--told Army Radio.

Several of Librescu's other students sent e-mails to his wife, Marlena, telling of how he had blocked the gunman's way and saved their lives, said Librescu's son, Joe.

"My father blocked the doorway with his body and asked the students to flee," Joe Librescu said in a telephone interview from his home outside of Tel Aviv. "Students started opening windows and jumping out."

*** END QUOTE ***

Librescu was a Holocaust survivor who escaped communist Romania for Israel in 1978 and moved to Virginia in 1986. By coincidence, he was murdered on Holocaust Remembrance Day.

This wonderful man held the door shut while his students jumped out the window. After surviving the Nazis and the Communists, he decided he'd had enough. Pray for his family tonight.

Here we go. I knew from listening to this afternoon's "press conference" (pronounced inquisition) that this kind of story would be forthcoming:

A gunman massacred 32 people at Virginia Tech in the deadliest shooting rampage in modern U.S. history Monday, cutting down his victims in two attacks two hours apart before the university could grasp what was happening and warn students.

This story is ridiculous. The authorities have said from the start that the original shooting in the dorm was thought to be a domestic situation. Why in the world would they think some maniac would go to the other side of the campus and shoot up several classrooms? They aren't really even sure it was the same guy! Reporters are so quick to blame someone besides the gunman they don't stop to think. As the head of the school said this afternoon, at the time of the original shooting, more than 50 percent of the school's students weren't even on campus. Only about 9,000 students live on campus, and how were they supposed to lock down people on the road? Seriously. You've got to give the authorities time to investigate the situation before you go assigning blame. This story makes it sound like he was shooting up the school for a solid two plus hours. The shootings in Norris Hall happened two hours after the shootings in the dormitory. Get a grip, people. Let's find out what the evidence has to say before we start stringing people up. There may still be the original shooter on the loose. Give them time to figure it out.

Okay, it looks like everyone could use a laugh about now. Check this out: Google has a program that gives maps and directions to people on the road. It also tells you the distance of each leg of the directions. The funny thing is when you try to go somewhere out of the ordinary. Check out these driving directions from New York City to Paris. Note step 23: Swim across the Atlantic Ocean... 3, 462 miles. Okay, who wants to go to Paris?

URGENT PRAYERS ARE NEEDED.... The AP reported that a gunman has killed at least 21 people this morning on the campus of Virginia Tech University. One was killed in a dorm, the rest were killed in classrooms on the other side of the campus. The gunman is dead, either by police or his own hand.

UPDATE: ABC News reporting 29 confirmed dead.

UPDATE: MSNBC reporting 31 dead. This is horrendous. Pray for these families and the students and faculty at the school. The trauma is going to be long-term, I'm afraid.

What do you mean a little chunky? I'm a lot chunky!!

You Are a Brownie Cheesecake

A little chunky and a little gooey, you pretty much run on sugar! You take hedonism to the extreme.. And people love you for it.

As you may have surmised from the sidebar, I'm a Harry Potter fan. In fact, I'm currently re-reading The Order of the Phoenix (book five). So I was happy to learn that Universal Studios in Orlando may be building a Harry Potter Theme Park. I'd love to go to something like that. Better yet, take the British tour that's available and ride the Hogwarts Express and tour the castle which sustitutes for Hogwarts Academy. Alas, I'll have to settle for the movies and books. I can afford those.

For anyone who was wondering what I thought about the whole Don Imus crapfest, I'd have to say, "Not much." Too many more important things in the world to think about. But Jason Whitlock puts it so much better than I do. Read the whole thing. It's really good. On another front, it is starting to look like the ranch in New Mexico that he and his brother operate may lose their funding. This would just be wrong. That's like cutting funding for Muscular Dystrophy because you don't like Jerry Lewis. Not that Jerry and Imus are anything alike. I'm just saying, you'd be hurting the kids, not the celebrities who front the charity. Think of the kids, and not the bruised egos.

Well, hellooooo. Sorry I haven't posted anything this week, but I'm in a nightmare not of my own choosing. This is how these classes I'm taking are supposed to go. (There are nine weeks to each subject.)

Week six: submit rough draft of persuasive essay. DONE
Week seven: Receive someone else's essay and perform a peer review. DONE
Week eight: Receive peer review and revise your own essay from their comments.

Here's where it gets tricky. I didn't get a peer review from my instructor last Monday, so I haven't been able to do any revisions. Tuesday, nothing. Wednesday, people started complaining because they hadn't received one, either. Now it was due on Thursday. Thursday morning we get a message that the deadline has been extended to Saturday. Still no peer review. Best I can tell, at least six of us didn't get one. The instructor suggested we partner up and review each others' papers. This is totally unacceptable to me, since I've already turned in one review and received my grade on it. But I want to get my assignment done. It took until Friday evening, but I found someone to team up with. I sent her my paper, then this afternoon got an email that said she had a family emergency and couldn't do it. So, I'm screwed. I'm waiting now to hear from the instructor who apparently couldn't find his way out of bed without gravity. I've reported him to the school (I wasn't the only one), so I may get a pass on the final, which is due one week from today. I may cry before then. I better get a good grade, or somebody's gonna get a butt-kicking. I'll call Jack Bauer. He'll fix it.

If this story is true, somebody should be shot.

Staffing was so inadequate at a California senior center that a rat crawled into an Alzheimer's patient's mouth and died there before staff noticed, a lawsuit claims.

Naturally the home is denying the story. Who wouldn't? This is just sick.

Go, granny, go!

A 95-year-old German woman solved a series of mystery thefts in a retirement home when she set a trap, hid in a toilet, and caught the thief red-handed.

I think they should let her determine the punishment as well. Grannies can be vicious when properly motivated.

Have you ever heard someone described as being "worthless as a pile of ...."? Well, it's not so worthless after all.

A Chinese woman survived a plunge from a sixth-floor balcony thanks to a convenient pile of excrement which broke her fall, local media said.

I'm sure she's probably still trying to get clean.

A quick note for the kids: Chuck is home from the hospital now. He is officially no longer full of ......

I'm sorry but this story really frosts me.

Schools are dropping the Holocaust from history lessons to avoid offending Muslim pupils, a Governmentbacked study has revealed.
It found some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial

There is also resistance to tackling the 11th century Crusades - where Christians fought Muslim armies for control of Jerusalem - because lessons often contradict what is taught in local mosques.

What is the matter with England these days? They didn't used to be wusses. At one time they were THE superpower on this planet. All I know is they better not start this crap over here. If they're gonna teach evolution, even though it offends Christian pupils, they better not kowtow to Muslim students. History is history, and you shouldn't muck around with it. Whether they find it offensive or not, they need to learn it. What are they going to say Richard III was doing in Europe? Taking a vacation?