Grandma's House

Did a Republican really steal Obama's "O"? Judge for yourself.

This is totally out of hand and as tacky as it comes. The former black person who died last week is still dead. And he will stay that way, despite the idiots who are waiting for his second coming. The family, looking to squeeze the last drop of gold out of his legacy, is having a memorial service at the L.A. Staples Center (!), and they're charging $25 admission. If that weren't bad enough, outside the venue they're selling T-shirts that say "This Is It" on them. How pathetic can you get? Note this: if you comment on this, do not use his name. I don't need his drooling fanatics here, no matter how low my readership is. Any person (or network, as of now at least 4 are providing live coverage) who would pay to attend this thing or participate in a lottery for admission tickets has severe brain damage and needs medical attention.

TO ALL MISSOURI VOTERS:

In the July 2009 issue of Rural Missouri, the publication sent to clients of Ozark Electric Cooperative, there was an interesting article titled "California Dreaming on Climate Change". Here are a couple of items from this article on the cap-and-trade legislation in Congress as of now:

As passed, the climate change bill heavily favors states on the coasts while penalizing Midwest states - including Missouri - that are heavily dependent on coal to generate electricity. At issue is the allocation of credits to meet a cap-and-trade program at the heart of the bill.

Cap and trade would work by slowly lowering the number of permits for emitting carbon dioxide available to utilities, manufacturers and other companies. Under the plan passed by (California Representative Henry) Waxman's committee, the chairman's home state would receive 200 percent of the credits it needs to meet new emission standards.

By contrast, Missouri would only receive 60 percent of the credits it needs. Missouri would have to buy additional credits on the open market at a price set by auction.

Gee, I wonder where what state will have the extra credits??

And then there's this little ditty:

And Rep. Ike Skelton wrote in a letter to Gasconage Electric Cooperative Manager John Greenlee that the devil is in the details of the proposed bill. (No kidding) "As H.R. 2454 is considered, my colleagues and I will carefully review it. For those of us from rural America, it will be critical that we look after the interests of farmers and others living in small towns. It will also be important to ensure parts of the country, like Missouri, that rely heavily on coal-fired power plants are not given the short shrift."

Somebody please explain to me how he can say this out of one side of his face, while voting in favor of the cap-and-trade ripoff with the other side? This doddering old fool has got to go. We have to replace him with someone who will actually do what is best for our state.

Well, they're droppin like flies now, boys and girls.

Karl Malden passed away at age 97. For me, his two biggest achievements were "The Streets of San Francisco" and managing to stay married for 70 years.

Another great actor, Harve Presnell, also passed away. He played William H. Macy's father-in-law in "Fargo" among other roles. He was 75.

Anna Karen Morrow, who I remember from "Peyton Place" as Mrs. Chernak, the housekeeper, but some may remember her as "Woman" from Star Trek's "All My Yesterdays" episode.

And lastly, from across the pond, the wonderful Mollie Sugden has passed away. She played the outlandish Mrs. Slocombe on the British comedy "Have You Been Served?" I love British comedies like this one. She will be missed.

That's all the dead folk for today. The way it's going I'll have a bunch more tomorrow.

Have you taken your blood pressure medicine yet today? Ok, then, here's the latest from the sewers running through the nation's capitol:

If that health care bill gets through Congress and gets signed, this is what you can expect:

Americans who refuse to buy affordable medical coverage could be hit with fines of more than $1,000 under a health care overhaul bill unveiled Thursday by key Senate Democrats looking to fulfill President Barack Obama's top domestic priority.

The Congressional Budget Office estimated the fines will raise around $36 billion over 10 years. Senate aides said the penalties would be modeled on the approach taken by Massachusetts, which now imposes a fine of about $1,000 a year on individuals who refuse to get coverage. Under the federal legislation, families would pay higher penalties than individuals.

Isn't that glorious? If you have kids, it's gonna cost you even more. And don't think for one minute that you can just get the insurance through your job. How long do you think they will still offer coverage if the government competes with them? About as long as you can hold your breath, I'll bet.

Then there's this little gem that nobody in Congress read about before they voted in favor of the cap and trade monstrosity:

The 1,400-page cap-and-trade legislation pushed through by House Democrats contains a new federal policy that residential, commercial, and government buildings be retrofitted to increase energy efficiency, leaving it up to the states to figure out exactly how to do that.

This means that homeowners, for example, could be required to retrofit their homes to meet federal “green” guidelines in order to sell their homes, if the cap-and-trade bill becomes law.

I owe about $7,000 on my house right now. My daughter wants to buy it and remodel it. If this thing passes, and I want to sell her the house, I'd have to put at least another $7,000, maybe more, into it to pass whatever the EPA decides will be the green standards. I can't do that. It's not worth that much. I'd be better off to take the 7 grand, then burn the place down and start over.

Those are the two big stories, but there are some smaller ones that you should know about. In New Jersey, a Superior Court judge has decided that bloggers can be sued for defamation. Nice to know, not that they'd get anything from me. Blood, turnips...you know the routine. Our pathetic excuses for lawmakers spent $13 million dollars on trips to other countries last year. Nice thing to do in a recession. And on a regional note, the Republican congresscritter from St. Charles County, Missouri, Cynthia Davis, has got to go. When asked about the summer lunch program, which really does help a lot of kids who wouldn't otherwise have lunch when they're not in school, she replied that they should get a job, because "hunger is a positive motivator". What a nut. Her district averages about 70 grand a year in income, being a suburban area of St. Louis. I daresay the kids living in St. Louis aren't doing that well.

The capper happened after Bambi's latest "townhall" meeting, where everyone who asked a question was connected to his campaign in some way. Helen Thomas, the White House press corps. member with the most hours in the room (and the most wrinkles), jumped on Robert Gibbs (not literally) because of the "transparency" of the Bambi White House. It's gotta be bad if it woke her out of her stupor and made her angry. Chip Reid joined in on the Gibbs pummelling. It was a joy to see the press actually sometimes do their job.

Now let's get back to the strange, because, like, you know, that's just what I do.

Watch out for the wallabies down Aussie way. They're getting into the poppy fields and getting stoned. They'll be after your snack food next.

A couple in Tennessee have been charged with domestic assault after getting into an altercation and hitting each other with Cheetos. Doesn't that just make you go all orange in the face with embarrassment?

Okay, this is like the absolute coolest cell phone ever created! I would buy one, but then I'd have to carry a purse or tote and that's not how I roll. Haven't carried a purse since I was a teen and Mom made me do it.

Here's a woman in Alabama who decided she needed to clear her head, so she laid down on the railroad tracks. The train broke her leg, so it sounds to me like she was doing it wrong. Unless her brain was in her kneecap.

The NIH is funding a study to determine why men don't like to use condoms. They're spending $423,500 on the study. If I tell them the answer, can I at least have half?

Now for a couple of strange crime stories: A woman claims her dog ate all of her checks, so she had to use her ex-husband's checking account to pay her bills. Sure, I'll believe that, uh huh. Then you have the gang who robbed six McDonald's by going to the drive-thru window. Why? Why were they allowed to climb through the window? If they had stopped the first person in, they would not have been in any danger. There were no guns, only baseball bats and such, which are not easily swung through those little windows. Seems like they could have clocked the first guy on the head with something to stop him from getting in. Or locked the window.

That's it for tonight gang. I'm caught up on the weird. I know there's a lot going on in the news right now, but I get too angry if I dwell on it too much. I'll see y'all later. Gotta clean Zoe.

I'm sure you've heard by now that Al Franken has been declared a winner in the debacle that was the Minnesota senate seat. That gives the Democrats a 60-40 imbalance in the Senate, and they are filibuster proof, provided they can keep all 60 in line. The Republicans can do nothing now. Everything that happens from this point they have to accept as their fault. Let's see how well they do. Grab the popcorn, folks. It may be all we're left with.

Read this only after you've had your blood pressure medicine. Make sure nothing breakable is nearby. Remember that Homeland Security paper establishing who would be considered a domestic terrorist? This should give you an idea why it was written. According to that paper, I, a 52 year old disabled grandmother, am a domestic terrorist. I don't care. I'd rather be classified as a terrorist by those people than a friend.

So, John McCain loses the presidential campaign, and his former staffers are unhappy about it. Heaven forbid they blame him for running a messed up campaign. They have to blame Sarah Palin and trash her instead. She was the only thing he did right! If they had left her alone to do her thing instead of trying to mold her into their idea of what she should be, he might have stood a chance. But every time she made progress for the team, he screwed up. I don't completely blame him, though. His staffers were supposedly taking care of him, right? It's bad enough the DNC is so afraid of her they are trashing her, late night hacks are involving her children in humor of extremely poor taste, and some bloggers are photoshopping her baby in horrendous pictures. Naturally, the story has no names attached to it; the staffers didn't have the guts to identify themselves. They should break both legs in the desert while they're alone. Perhaps they could learn some humility that way, but I doubt it.

Before I get to the serious news, I'd like to say this to Bambi: keep your freakin' nose out of Honduras' business. THEY are following their Constitutional mandate, something YOU couldn't do if the lives of your daughters depended on it. Have you even read the Constitution? It's only 20 pages long, and that's counting the amendments. You are SUPPOSED to be governing (not ruling) this country, not theirs. You didn't have the intestinal fortitude to stand up to Iran and support the thousands upon thousands of people who are thirsting for a freedom you take for granted. You said it wasn't your place to meddle in their affairs. Well, don't start now, buddy (and I use the term buddly very loosely here). They don't want your help nor do they need it. You stay out and tell your "friends" in Cuba, Venezuela and Bolivia, as well as those freaks at the U.N. to stay out as well. If you can't help, don't hinder. Keep your Islamic butt in your chair and DO YOUR FREAKIN' JOB!!

Wow, it is so relaxing not having a deadline. I can blog what I want, when I want. Well, for a week anyway. So, I'm not going to say anything about Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Gale Storm or John J. Houghtaling, except to say Semper Fi, Captain; your pain is over, Farrah; I'm surprised you lasted this long, Michael; we'll miss your yelling, Billy; you were great on TV and will be missed, Gale; and you will not be forgotten, John. Millions have benefited from Mr. Houghtaling's greatest invention, the Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed. Most of you will be missed. For the other one: How can we miss you if you won't go away?

Got this in an email from my sister:

THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Thanks sis!

I've been thinking about something for a while now, and am looking for input. When a person serves in their state legislature, they draw a pension upon leaving. Many of those people go on to serve on the national level. Yet while they are doing so, they still get that pension from their home state. Then when they leave Congress, they get a pension there as well. Why not pass state laws to discontinue the state pension when the national pension kicks in? It would save the states a lot of money in the long run. Any ideas?

Isn't this baby adorable? I love dogs that can smile, don't you? I got his picture in an email from somebody, but I can't remember who in my family sent it.

Three hours ago, I finished this class in Business Information Systems. Thank God! It was quite a strain, let me tell you. I've got a week off, then I start five weeks of Organizational Ethics and Personal Responsibility, a class that no doubt our entire leadership in D.C. would benefit in taking. Anyway, I've got a week with no personal responsibility regarding school, so I'm gonna enjoy it.

First of all, welcome to any and all new visitors! Please come back soon. You never know when I'll put something on here.

There won't be a Phriday Phideaux this week, gang. It's phinals week and I have too much homework to do. But I didn't want to leave you with nothing to think about all weekend:

Mary Bono Mack
Mike Castle
Mark Kirk
Leonard Lance
Frank LoBiondo
John McHugh
Dave Reichert
Chris Smith

If any of these so-called Republicans represent your district, keep one thing in mind: these are the people who voted in favor of the Cap and Trade Energy Bill in the House of Representatives today. If not for their votes, it would have failed. It passed 219-212. If it gets through the Senate and signed by Bambi, you can look forward to a much higher power bill, gasoline bill, food bill, etc. It is estimated that the average household electric bill will go up around $700 a year. I don't know about you, but for me that's way too much. Show 'em some love, people. They've earned it.

They must really grow the stupid up in Massachusetts. Barney Frank is at it again. He is pressuring Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to lower their qualifications for new home loans. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that what caused the problem in the first place??

A little family news here: There's a very good chance one of my kids will be home in a couple of weeks. Seems Illinois is getting a little too pricey and work a lot too scarce. If you don't mind, keep them in your prayers, as they've got a tough road ahead moving in with me. And they know it. And don't mind.

Did y'all enjoy the scripted press conference today? I'm sure you ladies (or gents) who watch the soaps really appreciated it, especially since he didn't say anything important. Yeah, he blathered about Iran a little bit, but who can listen to a hypocrite who claims he cares, yet invites the thugocratic leadership to an Independence Day cookout? And now his team claims his speech in Cairo was the inspiration for the protests?? Give me a break. Look, you cannot have it both ways. Either support the protestors, who by the way were the only Middle Eastern group other than Israel who held candlelight vigils on 9/11, or support the Mullahs and all they believe in. Staying in the middle of the road doesn't work for possums, and it sure won't work for politicians. Be a man, cancel the cookout invitations, and speak out, really speak out, in support of these kids who just want what we once had: freedom.

By the way, did you know the thugs are demanding the families of the dead hand over a bullet fee if they want their loved one returned to them? This is just making me sick.

Here are a few news items from across the pond for your perusal:

Remember the idiot girl who got the stars tattooed on her face? I knew she was lying. She blamed the tattoo guy because her dad threw a fit, and rightly so. Removing those tattoos is going to leave scars.

Do you remember "I before E except after C"? Well, if you live in England, you might as well forget the whole thing, because it's too difficult a concept to remember.

And in Scotland, if your dog poops and you don't clean it up, don't worry. They'll just spray paint it pink so you can see it on your next trip.

You really gotta admire Michele Bachmann, Republican Representative from Minnesota. She has determined that, according to the Constitution, the only information one needs to supply census takers is the number of people in the home. That's it. Since ACORN, that viper's nest of fraud, will be heavily involved in taking the census next year, there's no telling what they will try to do with any and all information they gather.

Just wow! You thought people with cell phones in the theater were hated before:

Former Wimbledon champion Maria Sharapova presented a prototype dress to reporters that is designed to light up when the wearer's mobile telephone rings.

Another good reason to stay home and watch DVDs.

Why hasn't California fallen off the country yet? Sometimes I get the impression they are all just too stupid to live. Now they've come up with a plan to save billions of dollars... just pay the parents to stay home and take care of their own kids. Good grief. I wish someone had let me stay home with mine, but I had to work and hire a sitter. Nobody said it was easy, but anything worth having is worth working for.