Grandma's House

I love this story, and I think you'll love it too. But put your drinks down first, okay?

A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was "all torn up." "What happened?" he asked.

"Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes, and likes to sun itself by lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck."

"Go on," the friend said.

"Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail lying across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure described."

"So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked.

"Did you ever goose a tiger?"