Grandma's House

When are people going to learn not to mess with grandmothers, especially if they're armed?

Jean Collop was woken in the early hours after hearing a noise. She went outside in her nightdress and saw the intruder near a skylight.

"I politely told him not to move," said Mrs Collop, who is in her late 60s and lives in Wadebridge, Cornwall. "I grabbed the first thing that came to hand, one of my garden gnomes, and hurled it at him, and hit him.

"He lay there and I began to scream. I went back into the kitchen and found a rolling pin in case he came down. I didn't want to break another gnome."

Good for her, but I hope she hasn't ruined it for the rest of us. Now we'll probably all be required to register our gnomes!