Day By Day© by Chris Muir.Thursday, June 24, 2004
Well, prepare yourself for another episode of Too Much Information:
I've had my IVP and BE as well as creatinine tests today. Yowza, if you ever have to have these tests run, be prepared for some very painful moments. First is the creatinine test. That's just a simple blood draw to see if you can handle the dye they are about to flood you with. That was the easiest part of the day. Although the technician had a little trouble because I was shaking (we had a little run-in with a deer on the way to the hospital. The deer won. We now need a new headlight assembly on the car. It's a miracle we don't need to clean the seats!). Then we proceeded to the IVP.
The worst part of it for me was lying on the X-ray table for 45 minutes. With my scoliosis, that is extremely painful. They take a set of X-rays for a baseline. Then you are given an IV through which they inject dye into your veins. The most immediate effect is an extreme warm (not hot) feeling in your nether regions, as if you just applied a hot water bottle to your crotch. That wasn't altogether bad, as the room was cold. Then they waited to see if I was going to have an allergic reaction to the dye. After that, they moved me around like a rag doll, taking X-rays from every conceivable angle, including a few panoramic shots. Then it was off to the BE.
Pray you never need one of these. A BE (also known as a lower GI series, or barium enema) is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. You spend about 40 minutes with the extreme feeling you are about to defecate all over yourself. This starts as soon as they insert the "tube" and inflate the "balloon" so it doesn't fall out. Then your system is flooded with white chalky goo. That is fairly unpleasant, as you can feel it running backward through your system. Then they take some pics. Then, you have to roll around like a fish out of water to thoroughly coat your innards. Then more pics. As if that wasn't enough, then the radiologist grabs a bulb thing and starts pumping air into your colon. Have you ever had gas so bad you thought you'd puke? That's what it's like. Then more pics. Finally, they drain the fluid and let you go to the bathroom to clean up. But be prepared. You are not going to be popular for a while, because all that air is gonna come back. Yep! You are a human farting machine. You will want to avoid people for a while. Then they want more X-rays. I'm surprised I don't glow in the dark.
But now I'm done until I go to the hospital for my pre-admission workup. That's next month. Stay tuned. If the tests don't kill me, there's no way the surgery will.
I've had my IVP and BE as well as creatinine tests today. Yowza, if you ever have to have these tests run, be prepared for some very painful moments. First is the creatinine test. That's just a simple blood draw to see if you can handle the dye they are about to flood you with. That was the easiest part of the day. Although the technician had a little trouble because I was shaking (we had a little run-in with a deer on the way to the hospital. The deer won. We now need a new headlight assembly on the car. It's a miracle we don't need to clean the seats!). Then we proceeded to the IVP.
The worst part of it for me was lying on the X-ray table for 45 minutes. With my scoliosis, that is extremely painful. They take a set of X-rays for a baseline. Then you are given an IV through which they inject dye into your veins. The most immediate effect is an extreme warm (not hot) feeling in your nether regions, as if you just applied a hot water bottle to your crotch. That wasn't altogether bad, as the room was cold. Then they waited to see if I was going to have an allergic reaction to the dye. After that, they moved me around like a rag doll, taking X-rays from every conceivable angle, including a few panoramic shots. Then it was off to the BE.
Pray you never need one of these. A BE (also known as a lower GI series, or barium enema) is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. You spend about 40 minutes with the extreme feeling you are about to defecate all over yourself. This starts as soon as they insert the "tube" and inflate the "balloon" so it doesn't fall out. Then your system is flooded with white chalky goo. That is fairly unpleasant, as you can feel it running backward through your system. Then they take some pics. Then, you have to roll around like a fish out of water to thoroughly coat your innards. Then more pics. As if that wasn't enough, then the radiologist grabs a bulb thing and starts pumping air into your colon. Have you ever had gas so bad you thought you'd puke? That's what it's like. Then more pics. Finally, they drain the fluid and let you go to the bathroom to clean up. But be prepared. You are not going to be popular for a while, because all that air is gonna come back. Yep! You are a human farting machine. You will want to avoid people for a while. Then they want more X-rays. I'm surprised I don't glow in the dark.
But now I'm done until I go to the hospital for my pre-admission workup. That's next month. Stay tuned. If the tests don't kill me, there's no way the surgery will.
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